I heard someone recently call this past month “Maycember,” and while I totally understand why, it is nothing compared to our Decembers. We’ve even had relatively nice weather. Sure, there are days in the nineties, but that’s normal for May in central Texas. What’s crazy is that we’ve had some cool mornings here and there and rain! We’re still in a drought and the lakes aren’t full, but they’re filling.

Since Ian spent this month finishing up his elementary school career, we’ve had some more events to attend at school. This started last month with his fine arts showcase. This month brought us MARE (Marine Activities Resources and Education) week. He and a class partner had to present horseshoe crabs. They had an informative poster and an interactive horseshoe crab game. The parents got to wander through the kids’ exhibits and ask questions and check out what they had made.

For Mother’s Day weekend, I started by having Sean purchase a picanha steak, which I sliced and trimmed into grillable slabs of meat. I made an outstanding chimichurri sauce and grilled 75% of the steaks over charcoal (Sean cooked Maya’s indoors, so she wouldn’t have to taste smoke).

The next morning, actual Mother’s Day, we went to La Cocina de Consuela for lunch and Sean made smothered pork chops for dinner. Sean and the kids cleaned up the dishes. For the amount of energy we all had, it seemed sufficient fuss was made.

And from that time forward, there wasn’t a week that went by without at least one musical activity. On March 11th, Maya’s middle school jazz band performed at Anderson High School. We saw pieces performed by the middle school, the high school, and even one where they performed together. It was a really good show, and Maya played all three of her instruments. (Jazz oboe, anyone?)

She was supposed to perform with the jazz band again on the 13th, but that overlapped with her final Soundwaves Symphony performance of the season. She had be get brave and talk to her jazz band director about missing the performance, and luckily he granted her permission! And that’s how we found ourselves down at the UT campus on the 13th, watching Maya and the youth orchestra she’s part of fill the Bates Recital Hall with sound.

The Mariachi para Todos group performed as well, including performing with the orchestra. It was a really neat show and a nice capstone to what has been an emotionally fraught but empowering year for Maya, musically.

The giant pipe organ looming large over the stage at Bates Recital hall is something to behold. It’s a Visser-Rowland organ. This crazy thing weights 24 tons and has 5,315 pipes. At the time of its installation in 1983, it was the largest tracker organ in the United States. We saw a sign imploring everyone to keep the room doors closed to help preserve the organ, presumably so the university control the temperature and humidity in the room.

Earlier that same day, Maya had a 7th grade field trip to Austin Parks and Pizza, and then she had a band field trip to Six Flags on the 15th. Missing those two A-days seemed to set her back a little on her school work, making the rest of the school year a scholastic nail-biter. But she eventually made it through.

While Maya was off having fun at Six Flags, we took Ian out to his favorite restaurant, Pappadeaux.

Lolli and Pop rolled into town on Saturday the 16th to partake of a particularly music-dense couple of days. Sunday morning, Ian had an artisan market performance. The scheduling was a little weird (he and Chris played while the market set up), but he did great! When he first started doing these market performances, he’d have a lot of false starts and would occasionally even abandon ship before a song was finished. There’s really none of that now. He plays confidently, carrying on when he makes little mistakes, even grooving to the music from time to time.

After his show, we had a delightful lunch at Buenos Aires Café, where Lolli and Pop found vegan things to eat, and the rest of us found lots of nice non-vegan things to eat! There was live music here too, if you can believe that. We almost couldn’t get away from it.

Then, that afternoon, Maya played in a piano recital that her teacher Ben had organized. Maya mostly performs with a group these days, so I think it’s especially rough on her nerves when she has to perform alone. As is her habit when she’s nervous, she turbo-played through her piece (Bagatelle, Op. 5, No. 9 by Alexander Tcherepnin), but luckily despite its complexity, she kept it together.

The next day, Sean and I took the day off work and hung out with Lolli and Pop while the kids headed off to school. It was nice to sit still, at least for a bit. We fetched Ian from an after school talent show audition (more on that shortly). Then that evening, after an early and hurried dinner, we went back to Anderson High School for Maya’s final band performance of the year. She and her peers were recognized for solo and ensemble work they’d done, and for a scale challenge they participate in each year called scale kwon do. Just like last year, Maya is a black belt. It was a night of lovely music and Maya’s final concert of the school year. She had to turn in her oboe for annual maintenance the next day.

That next weekend, Ian had a sleepover at a friend’s house, and so while he was having fun over there, we took Maya out to her favorite restaurant, Olive Garden.

On Memorial Day evening, like the fine upstanding parents that we are, we took the kids with us to watch Echo and the Bunnymen at ACL Moody Theater … on a school night. The supporting band was a jazz outfit called the Ryan Davis Trio who, thanks to their special guest musicians, never had only three musicians playing. The Bunnymen performed well, despite the fact that their lead singer’s voice is obviously going (perhaps gone). Plus I think every time Sean gets to see his favorite band of all time is a treat, especially when sharing it with the kids.

The last three days of school for Maya consisted of an Algebra final on Wednesday bookended by a whole lot of playing outside and having “movie time” or “game time.” I’m honestly not sure why these particular instructional hours were required, but who am I to judge.

Ian, for his last day of elementary school on the 28th, participated in a talent show. That morning before school and even the night before, he was kind of on edge. He wasn’t sure he’d practiced enough. He didn’t want to make a fool of himself in front of all the friends that he’s known since the beginning of elementary school. He was clearly having a case of nerves.

Maya bravely rode the bus that morning (the first time she’d done so all year, so it was new, and she was apprehensive) so we could go to school as early as they’d let us so we (Sean) could set up Ian’s guitar for his talent show entry. It was really hurried. We weren’t sure what we needed to do so we had to wait for instruction from his music teacher. The battery in the tuner died, so Sean was tuning the guitar by ear. We had a moment where we couldn’t find a critical cable (Ian hid it from us in one of the many pockets in his guitar case). The crowd started pouring in.

The awards and graduation ceremony that morning was broken up by talent show acts. We watched a few magic acts and dance numbers. It was all nice enough. Ian had prepared a scaled down version of Master of Puppets by Metallica. He loved Metallica before he had seen the fourth season of Stranger Things, and he was delighted to watch Eddie Munson’s epic guitar solo. So, when Ian got up there and started playing, he got recognition from the adults (because that was *our* music) and he got recognition from the kids (because Stranger Things). I think it was definitely one of the audience’s favorite performances. And even with his case of nerves, he killed it.

In the video, you will see Ian stepping on his pedal board. The idea was to use effects pedals to add distortion to the parts of the song that are meant to have a crunchier sound. Sean would tell you that Ian’s roadie (which is to say, Sean) messed up. In all the haste and mad problem solving during the 15-minute guitar setup, the flustered roadie hooked up the pedal board incorrectly, and so Ian had no crunch. For my part, I think the performance was fine regardless.

That afternoon, we came back and sweated it up out in the heat while the 5th graders did their “final walk” through the school. And just like that, dude’s a 6th grader.

That last notable thing we did in May was to head into the city to watch the Austin Symphony Orchestra present Video Games Live. Sean bought tickets for all four of us, even though Ian would tell you he hates symphonic music. Even the night of the event he moped around asking if he really had to go. Yep. Eye-roll. Sigh. Grumpily load into car.

Once the show got started though, Ian was locked in. The giant screen showed video game footage with live orchestral music. There’s honestly a diverse array of really interesting music to accompany video games. They showed lots of “cinematics” – not live gameplay, but pre-rendered cut scenes meant to provide background or progress the storyline in some way. I’m not a gamer *at all* but I found the show engaging and entertaining.

They interspersed the music with funny videos that had both the kids cracking up in their seats. Unlike “normal” symphony performances, they were encouraged to call out and cheer whenever they were moved to do so. (Maya, unfortunately, took it as license to yap through the whole show. We’ll work on it.) In the latter part of the show, its creator Tommy Tallarico augmented the orchestral music with electric guitar, much to Ian’s delight.

And for the past few days, the kids have been enjoying some much-needed downtime now that school’s out. Sean and I have been trying to finish final prep for our vacation next month, while enjoying a slightly less rigorous schedule, at least till summer camps start. And in the late summer, our two big kids will head to middle school together.

The month of April was a relief. After a dry, blistering March, Central Texas had a nice series of cold fronts and gentle, steady rains that have gone at least some small distance toward relieving the drought it seems like we’re constantly in. I’ve gotten several nice mostly-native plants in the ground, and they have been loving this gentle start to their lives outside a greenhouse. It almost looks like I know what I’m doing! (I don’t.)

We started our month bright and early by going to see a concert put on at least in part by Maya’s clarinet teacher, Stephen Savage. The concert featured bass clarinet in various arrangements. Since Ian will be playing clarinet next year in beginning band, we made him go along too, even though he worked very hard to talk his way out of it. Two of the more fascinating pieces were actually cello sonatas by Leo Ornstein, arranged for bass clarinet by Mr Savage and accompanied by some absolutely brilliant piano. Ultimately, even Ian seemed to be delighted with the show, and the pot was even sweetened by a small reception complete with treats afterward.

Maya and Ian are starting to age out of Easter, but we (mostly Sean) filled their baskets with treats and set them out anyway. Sean went last minute to our local HEB grocery store and stocked up, and one of the things he picked up for the kids was a chocolate rabbit called “Buckaroo Bunny,” featuring a jaunty vest and a 10 gallon hat. Alas, Buckaroo Bunny didn’t taste very good, so even Maya (who’s pretty tolerant about her treats) didn’t finish hers. And the cascarones Sean bought are still sitting un-smashed on the counter. Maybe the kids already have aged out of easter.

They did receive fun gifts from the grandparents, and it seems like that is welcome, no matter how old they get. Grammy and Grandpa sent gift cards and a box full of treat-filled plastic eggs, which the kids spent a great deal of time sorting and trading. Lolli and Pop sent cool t-shirts.

I had my second shingles vaccine around mid-month. The pharmacist who gave me the first shot warned me that the second one was the one that people had a stronger reaction to it, but it wasn’t even on my mind the following morning when I was muzzy-headed and shivering with a fever. Nothing to fear, by the end of the day I was fine and as I hear tell, that was much preferable than an actual case of shingles. Sean, conversely, had a much stronger reaction to his initial vaccine than his booster. Either way, it’s done now.

The kids had band movie night on April 17th. We all gathered in a field at the school with our lawn chairs and watched Zootopia 2 on an inflatable screen while the kids ate snacks and Maya hung out with her friends. It was honestly a lot of fun.

On the 20th, we got to go to the first of several 5th grade events at Ian’s school. It’s his last year of elementary school, and just as it was with Maya before him, there are a bunch of events to showcase all he’s learned. This was the fine arts portfolio day, so we got a sampling of what Ian has been learning in art class and in music. He tried to give us a computer-based presentation on his work, but was stymied by a pair of faulty headphones. Mostly, we looked through his portfolio and chit-chatted. The boy is a talented artist, so it was a lot of fun to look through the art he’d made.

Toward the end of the month, Maya participated in her school’s solo and ensemble competition. She did a solo with her oboe, an ensemble with the jazz band, and a separate ensemble that she put together herself. She composed the piece of music, gathered her friends together and obtained their commitment to participate in the ensemble, and arranged weekly practices with her group. To be fair, the piece was probably a little more complex than what should have been unleashed on a middle school ensemble group, but they did pretty well. Her group received a score of 1 and was named outstanding ensemble.

This is output from MuseScore for Maya’s ensemble composition, “Purple Hyacinth.” The audio may be a little soft, so adjust volume as needed.

Maya and her group could have gone into that performance and delivered a real clunker, and I still would have been proud. Maya wrote music she cared about, found willing musicians, organized practices, and corralled people. That’s a huge accomplishment, especially for an introvert like her.

We have had a lot of good animal activity in our yard this past month. The lizards and birds and squirrels are all making a show of it, as usual, but we have a toad who seems to have set up shop in a hollow stump left in our front yard from a rotted out oak tree we had to have cut down. It’s right near our front porch and possibly a little dangerous, so I had considered filling it in with dirt and possibly taking a sledgehammer to the edges, but since it has a resident, I’m leaving it along for now. Plus it’s an interesting place for fungi to flourish. It’s always interesting to see nature in action.

We had a new (to our knowledge) visitor to the back yard too. I was on a call for work and Sean frantically motioned for me to look out the back window. Sure enough a snake was nosing around at the window, almost seeming to poke at it experimentally with its head. I hastily promised my coworker a callback, and we went out to see what we had. As is typical of this area, what we had was a western rat snake, nonvenomous. It was crawling around on an old hose reel that I had been meaning to get rid of. We saw it again later in the afternoon slithering gently through our back flower bed. They are constrictors, and eat primarily small rodents but also birds, bird eggs, lizards and toads, so I’m sure it was finding plenty to eat in our yard.

This month provided a little mental reset before the rigors of May set in. There will be a thousand concerts and end of school events, and we’ll need to get ready for our summer trip to Europe, assuming there’s jet fuel available to get us there and back. And it was nice to get a little reprieve from what started to feel in March like a very early start to our miserable summer heat.

March has been hot (hottest on record, in fact), but worse still, there was very little rain, and we’ve already been operating at a deficit, even with last July’s torrential rains and the resultant catastrophic flooding and loss of life. We had one wackadoo weekend where the high on a Sunday was 97 with a low of 39 the next morning.

The first big thing that happened in March was Maya’s band UIL competition. Sean and I went down that morning to watch the band do their stage performance and their sight reading performance. (One of the pieces Maya’s band played was called “Darklands March” by Randall Standridge, her favorite of the things they played.) The kids and band director did a great job, and it was fun to watch them perform.

Between Pre-UIL for both Symphonic and Concert bands and UIL for Symphonic band, Maya missed a few class periods and she was scrambling to get everything finished up and turned in by the end of the quarter. As the parent who primarily tries to help her stay on track with schoolwork, I was stressed to the gills, and I was not sad to see the backside of that quarter.

Maya also performed in another Soundwaves Symphony concert on the 12th. That was the Thursday before spring break, and yep, she came home afterward and finished more homework.

That Sunday, Ian had another gig at the artisans market near where his guitar teacher lives. I didn’t get to see this one, but I hear it went very well.

We elected not to travel for spring break this year, so mostly the kids just got to hang out and decompress while the grown ups worked. Still, we worked in a few things. On Monday evening, since we didn’t have most of our rash of activities and events to rush off to, we drove out to Muleshoe Bend to take our annual bluebonnet photos. Around town, things were looking awfully thin, and last year we tried to wait it out and essentially took photos in front of someone’s yard because everything else had either not bloomed much or shriveled up. (The showing was even more impressive a couple weeks later, but I didn’t want to miss out again.)

Muleshoe Bend reliably has at least a passing crop of bluebonnets, so that’s where we went. It was a comedy of setbacks. First we told the kids we’d grab ice cream along the way. Alas, our drive got real rural real quick, and we found no suitable options. They grumbled a little, but no worries, we’d stop at Freddy’s on the way back after photos. They could have their favorite burgers AND frozen custard.

It was cold while we took photos, so we didn’t bother having the kids dress up, but that aside, the place looked nice enough and there were really no other people out there, except campers. On the way out, Sean went to put the location of the Freddy’s we’d normally go to, only to find it had permanently closed. We drove well out of our way to get that damned meal.

Next year, Sean has vowed, the kids will dress up and we’ll try to get nice photos again. We’ll see how events transpire.

On Tuesday, for St Pats, I made a nice Guinness chocolate cake to have after a nice dinner of chicken fried steak. That’s not normally something I do on a weekday, but hey, I didn’t have to rush out the door to pick anyone up immediately after school, so things were more relaxed.

On Friday, Sean and I took the day off, and we all headed out to the Sherwood Forest Faire. We haven’t been since the kids were little, but things seemed significantly the same. Going on Friday was nice – things weren’t super crowded, and it was easy to get around. We managed to watch the cool falconry show and one oddball play. Otherwise, we mostly wandered and hung out with friends. Our kids ran around with their kids, so it was honestly pretty relaxing.

Ian got to ride a horse, which he seemed to love, and he got to buy an intricately carved and bejeweled dagger, which he seemed very proud of. Maya was brave enough to strike up a conversation with a bagpipe player who seemed happy to discuss the finer points of bagpipes and double reed instruments in general. Then he blew her mind by telling her about an instrument she didn’t already know of – an uilleann horn. I hadn’t heard of it either. It’s a bellows driven Irish bagpipe type thing. Maya was delighted and the man chatting with her seemed to enjoy her curiosity. Hooray for positive interactions!

Ian got to attend the instrument test drive at Murchison on the last weekend of the month. I think he tried every single instrument they had available to test out. His score sheet showed that he could have played just about any instrument they had, but ultimately, after some back and forth, he decided on the clarinet. He liked the way it sounded and felt that it was the most fun to play. He seemed so adept at the brass instruments, we honestly thought he might go for one of those.

A nice woman named Meredith, who is familiar with Maya already from her Soundwaves involvement, was there helping kids try out the cello. She was delighted that Maya’s brother was testing out instruments and insisted he come try out the cello. I can’t remember exactly how she phrased it, but she said something to the effect that with this musical family, she’s pushing to “get” Ian for cello. I looked at Sean and asked if this is how parents of sports kids feel when different teams want their kid to play for them. It was very funny.

We ended our month by heading to the movies to watch Project Hail Mary. I dearly loved that book, so I was excited to see the film adaptation. I couldn’t get anyone else in the house to read, but we all loved the movie. Amaze amaze amaze!

January

I managed to roll out of bed on January 1st and make cinnamon rolls from scratch. They take a lot of time, and I didn’t want to wake up early. Given that, these were lunch-time cinnamon rolls, and they were glorious.

On the 6th, after letting their schedules slide later and later, Maya and Ian had to face the harsh 6:30a reality of a return to school. Truth told, I think they were both ready to see their friends again, so it could have been worse.

We spent a lot of time relaxing, being unscheduled, and generally putting the house back in order. We slowed our roll so much, I think it was something like the 20th before we managed to get the house undecorated from Christmas and the very crispy live tree hauled out to the curb for pick up. You know what? The world didn’t end. We had an extra week or two with the half-decorated tree in the house.

Ian is starting middle school next year, so he had to work on his choice sheet for class selection. There weren’t a ton of variables that he got to pick, but he thinks that he too would like to try out band next year. We’ll see how it pans out during the instrument test drive later in March, but right now, he thinks he’d like play the flute.

I was supposed to take a work trip to Tampa during part of the last week of January. The weather had other ideas. A winter storm big enough to have a name (Fern) blew through. While it dumped a foot of snow on my midwestern friends and family, here we were pelted with somewhere between 1/4 and 1/2 inch of sleet and freezing rain. Of course we couldn’t drive on it, but we had bought our weekly groceries a little earlier than normal in a bid to get ahead of the panic buying. Sean reported that we were only marginally successful. We more or less got what we needed, but apparently the store was bonkers.

On Saturday, it sleeted, starting in the evening. Sunday, we woke up to a world of white. After lunch, the kids tried to play in it for a bit. I think Maya got some mileage out of breaking apart ice crust in the back yard with a rubber mallet, but generally it was too hard to really mess around in much.

Some of our neighbors (inexplicably) have sleds, and after longingly watching them zip down the icy hill in front of our house, when Maya was invited to go tubing down icy streets near a friend’s house, she begged to go. I’m a big pushover sometimes, so we bundled up, and I walked her over. This is a twenty minute walk on a clear day. I don’t know how long it took us to navigate the ice-coated hills.

We eventually made it, and Maya gamely tried to slide down an icy street with her friends. While we were gone, Ian evidently executed the same maneuver using a large hunk of corrugated cardboard.

School was called off for Monday. The road wasn’t clear and it wasn’t set to get much above freezing, so I had no choice but to cancel my work trip. Toward the end of the day, we saw a neighbor try to drive up the hill. Ultimately, they had to slide back down till they found a clear spot to get traction. Not that I needed it, but I felt that justified my decision to cancel the trip, if nothing else.

Throughout the day on Monday, the ice had melted some, but not enough. We wouldn’t be able to get the kids to school on Tuesday. Luckily, they called a second snow day. Even by the end of Tuesday, it became obvious our driveway wouldn’t melt away on its own. Between Sean and I, with a snow shovel and a mattock, we got enough of a path cleared behind our car that even when it refroze overnight, we’d still be able to get the kids to school the next day.

On the last Friday of the month, Maya took a little band trip to Gattitown. This was a purely fun trip, no performance required. The rest of us took the opportunity to go out for barbecue. Since Maya is so smoke-averse, it’s not something she’d like, and so we never go.

We went to Stiles Switch and enjoyed a wide variety of excellent meats and sides (though I was a bit sad to find their brisket was dry). They had a divine piranha and chimichurri on special. The sausage of the month, a firecracker sausage, was also delightfully piquant.

February

I had received a gnocchi board for Christmas, and I broke it in on the very first day of the month. This Youtube chef I like, Brian Lagerstrom, provided excellent technique and guidance. I’m calling bullshit though on his characterization of this as a twenty minute process. Even not counting the hour-long roast time for the potatoes, it still took me much longer. That said, they were some of the best gnocchi I’ve ever eaten, much less made. Sean and I had them with a homemade gorgonzola cream sauce. The kids enjoyed theirs with jarred marinara. BOTH KIDS suggested that I might make them more often. In turn, I suggested that I might just do that provided I have some help.

My birthday – my 50th birthday, no less – was a pretty quiet affair. I ordered myself a subscription box of small-batch baked goods and chose things I wanted, including buying myself a birthday apricot tart. I ordered myself a few things for our summer trip to Iceland and Scotland. And I told Sean where I wanted to eat. To his credit, he did make the reservation.

It was honestly an excellent day. I worked during the day like normal, fielding birthday text messages throughout. I chatted with my parents while I waited for Maya to finish her clarinet lesson.

Then we all went to dinner at Foreign and Domestic, a place we used to love in our pre-kid life. I think I read that the restaurant has changed ownership, but it was every bit as good as I remember it being (though I cannot eat the way I used to). Plus, they offered half-price bottles of wine. It was meant to be. Ian tried sweetbreads and a raw oyster. Both kids tested out some fried beef tongue. The vibe was relaxed, and I had a lot of fun.

And then I got around to the business of being a half century old. My AARP card came right on time. I got my first shingles vaccine. I have a bad spine (disc degeneration), my knees and shoulders ache sometimes, and my mind is clearly not what it used to be, but for now at least, I’m still relatively capable. I can travel, cook, and spend time outside. For the time being, with a lot of optical assistance, I can see well enough to read. Things could be worse.

I’ve been using, “growing old is a privilege,” as a mantra on the more frustrating days. Admittedly, I’m shit at using mantras, but sometimes it kind of works. [Around the time of the COVID mess, I also adopted, “it’s later than you think,” though that’s less like a mantra and more like a warning call.]

Right around Valentine’s Day, spring sprung in central Texas. The daffodils were in full flower, buds were starting to pop out on some of the trees, and the weeds were greening up nicely.

We let the kids have Friday the 13th all to themselves to decompress, but on Saturday the 14th, we were all in on the room cleaning. I sweetened the pot by making everyone individual chocolate “puddle” cakes to start their day.

The joke was on Sean and I, however. I was personally prepared to fight all weekend with Maya, first about cleaning at all, then about actually getting rid of old stuff. “Be ruthless,” I told her, fully expecting her not to listen. But she WAS ruthless. Completely. She decimated her stuffed animal herd. Piles of “special” rocks made their way outside. So, so, so many old papers were collected and put in our recycling pile. She pointed out that she really needed a bigger desk. She’s right, but she’s so damned resistant to change that we didn’t think she’d go for it.

It wasn’t really in our plans, but sometimes you need to strike while the iron is hot. We agreed to take the kids shopping at Ikea to see if there was anything there they might like. While at the store, Maya pointed out she needed a new chair too. And a rug. Oh, and also a lamp that worked properly. Ian also, he pointed out, needed these things.

After a good two hours at Ikea and a return trip later on to collect what wouldn’t fit on the first run, we had two desks, two chairs, and a small set of drawers to assemble. Ian also picked out a cool lamp. They continued to clean while we spent the rest of Saturday and most of Sunday assembling furniture and arranging rooms.

We had a short reprieve Sunday morning to watch Ian perform at the artisans market in his guitar teacher’s neighborhood, followed up by our now-traditional lunch of freshly fried empanadas.

The kids and Sean were off for President’s Day on Monday, so I took the day off with them. Part of what I did was bought rugs for their rooms (on sale, because it was President’s Day). We continued to clean things up around the house. In fact, off and on for the next few weeks, we worked on restoring order to the kids’ rooms and thinking through how we’d like things to change on the rest of the house.

Maya went to her 7th grade dance on the following Friday. She again didn’t want to attend because she doesn’t dance and thinks the music is bad. Just like last year, she ultimately decided to go so she could hang out with her friends. When we picked her up, she seemed to have had a nice enough time.

At the very end of the month, we went to see the Austin Symphony Orchestra provide the soundtrack to a presentation to Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl. We learned our lesson from Home Alone back in December. This time, we got there early enough to get fun photos with folks in Pirates-relevant costumes, and to get the kids some drinks and snacks. It was a fun way to cap off the month, though Ian loudly professed how bored he was by the experience.

I can’t get over how short December felt and how much we managed to cram into it. Thanksgiving was pretty late this year, so I’m sure that’s a big part of the feeling.

We managed to squeeze in a birthday celebration for Sean at the beginning before things got really bonkers. We went to Reale’s for dinner, and, at his request, I made him the same chocolate malt cake that I make every year. We opened gifts at home, and have field tested the new mai tai glasses he got on numerous occasions.

The next week, Maya had not one but TWO jazz band performances. The first was on Monday with the Anderson High School jazz band at the AHS PAC. At this one, Maya managed to play a different instrument in each of three songs. The other was on Wednesday with the Murchison Middle School beginner band. The jazz band were the opening act.

The following Sunday, we managed to sneak in a birthday party for Ian. He wanted to go roller skating again, and he requested a chocolate chip cookie cake, so the planning wasn’t too arduous. A whole pile of kids showed up and it seemed like he had a really good time.

We were finally ready to go home after the party, the parents already feeling the strain of such an action packed December and looking forward to a rest on the couch, possibly with a cold beverage. We hopped in the car, pushed the button to start it (does anyone even *use* keys anymore), and were presented with a blinky dashboard and a pissed off little buzz, but no actual ignition.

We have a battery jump starter apparatus, but it had been living in Sean’s car for a while since it doesn’t get driven enough for the battery to be consistently charged. Plus, we had just replaced my battery within the past year or so, so certainly it wouldn’t need a jump start. And that’s the story of how we took an Uber home from Ian’s birthday party. Sean and I came back and were able to jump the car to get it home. We had the battery replaced, under warranty, the next day.

All of this was particularly galling since I had just had it in the shop for brake work and fresh tires and (of course) an oil change so the car would be ready for our big holiday road trip. Oh well, at least it didn’t die on the road somewhere between Texas and Alabama. It died in the local roller skating rink parking lot instead.

Maya had a big day on the 16th. She’s been putting up with a palate expander for several months now. Finally on this day, she received her clear aligners. They have taken her some getting used to, since she has to take them out to consume anything other than still, unflavored water, and she has to clean the aligners themselves out with soap regularly. But, she’s actually been doing a really good job with them so far.

That same day, Maya’s new clarinet arrived. Why get her a new clarinet instead of an oboe, you might ask? Certainly she’s played oboe longer and (depending on whether or not it’s a good reed day) seems to love it. The thing is, oboes are REALLY expensive. Also, Sean thinks that he too might like to learn to play the clarinet, so it seemed like the right one to have in our house. She couldn’t play it that first day, since it had to acclimate to our temperature, but once she did get to play it, I think she was in love. It sounds much nicer than her school instrument, and I think she can get it to “behave” more consistently than the school clarinet.

Also on the 16th, we took Ian out for his birthday a couple days early. He had been wanting to try a teppanyaki place for a while, but we always put it off in deference to Maya’s fire aversion. This time though, she kindly agreed to go. It’s what he wanted for *his* birthday, after all. We went to Kobe Japanese Steakhouse and watched our talented cook make an onion volcano, crack eggs on his spatula, chuck little bits of rice for willing patrons to catch in their mouths, and slice and dice with rhythmic abandon. They made Ian a little fried rice birthday cake, complete with a candle and presented him with really pretty chopsticks at the end of the meal. It must be a popular birthday choice – counting Ian, there were three birthdays celebrated at our grill alone.

Ian thought he wanted dessert afterwards. Those Japanese steakhouse places feed the heck out of you. For my part, even though I held back, I still felt uncomfortably full. Ian noticed an ice cream place next door. Since it was his birthday, we gave in. The monstrosity they served him looked amazing, but it didn’t take very long at all before he realized the error of his ways.

On the 17th, we headed downtown to the Long Center to watch the Austin Symphony Orchestra provide a live score while the Home Alone movie was shown. Back in November, Maya had seemed very overwhelmed at the idea of having any kind of big to-do for her birthday, so we offered her this experience instead. Despite leaving a full hour before performance time, thanks to the end of rush hour plus holiday traffic (particularly for the Trail of Lights display), we nearly missed it. Luckily, I think they delayed the start a little, so we wound up having time to get parked and seated. The show was great, and we hung around for a bit afterward to enjoy their light tunnel and the misty-topped views of the city before heading home for the night.

Then, on the 18th, Ian’s actual birthday, we headed to Maya’s regular band concert. This was held down at the Austin ISD Performing Arts Center. All told, it took a couple of hours to make it through the concert. Murchison and Anderson each had concert band, symphonic band, and wind ensemble performances. These were peppered with a few middle and high school joint performances.

After all THAT, we headed back home to have our Texas Christmas. Lots of gifts were opened, we all stayed up too late, and tried our best to enjoy the occasion as a happy, well-adjusted family.

The previous week’s schedule was compressed in that way because on the 19th, after the kids spent the day at school and the adults spent the day working, we loaded up the car, gave the cats some goodbye pats, and drove to a hotel in Shreveport to get a jump on our Christmas drive. My memory is that we were all tired, but that the drive was otherwise uneventful. We drove the rest of the way to Homewood the next day, and upon arrival, mostly just hung out at the house decompressing a little from all that driving. Harry and Helen had redone their basement, so we finally got an in-person view of that transformation. It’s amazing – difficult to believe it’s the same place!

During December in Austin, we really didn’t have a lot of time to do extra holiday things, short of getting a tree put up and mostly decorated, so I was delighted when Harry and Helen led us on part of the Wacky Tacky Light Tour they had gone on earlier in the month. The light displays were over the top and a whole lot of fun to go see. I can’t believe the money some of these folks must have sunk into inflatables alone.

My favorite though was the “ditto” house. We drove up to *the* most extravagantly decorated house; the depth of the display and the effort it must have taken were staggering. Their neighbor across the street simply had an arrow of lights pointing toward them along with the word “DITTO.” I loved it.

The next night, we got even more holiday light action. We got to see Glow Wild at the Birmingham Zoo. There weren’t too many live animals to see, but there were light-up animals everywhere. There were normal zoo animals, sure, but there were also a variety of dinosaurs. With yellow eyes that skewed less toward wild and more toward creepy, some of them seemed to have a sinister intent. All told, it was really neat, and we couldn’t have asked for better weather. We even got to see a light up Vulcan!

After the requisite hot chocolate, baked pretzel, and funnel cake, we called it a night at the zoo and went to dinner at Okinawa, which may be the kids’ favorite restaurant in all of Homewood.

The next morning we had our Alabama Christmas celebration. We all gathered in the newly remodeled basement and opened gifts. The kids begrudgingly posed for us in their 6-7 shirts in front of the Christmas tree. We had an excellent feast full of whole food delights. And later on that evening, we saw some more of the Wacky Tacky Light Tour. After all that we mostly hung around enjoying the last bit of each other’s company before heading off again.

Christmas Eve saw us making the relatively short drive from Homewood, AL to Friedheim, MO. We figured traffic might be a little rough, but honestly I don’t remember it being all that bad. Our drive was not noteworthy, and we arrived in Missouri to find that poor Grandpa was sick and sequestering in the bedroom so as not to spread the illness to the rest of us. (Thanks, Grandpa!)

We always seem to need to just unwind a little after a long drive, so that evening was pretty low key, anyway. The kids reacquainted themselves with the toys and crafts in the basement. The grownups rooted through gifts to verify that everything we ordered had shown up.

On Christmas Day, Ian showed up in the kitchen in time to assist Grammy with breakfast. I think Ian might like cooking – he’s been helping more at home too. We spent another day mostly laying low. The kids enjoyed way too much screen time, and the parents enjoyed some down time.

That evening, we went to Sharon and Doug’s house to celebrate Christmas with them. Grandpa still wasn’t feeling 100%, so he wound up missing out. We ate too much food and played lots of games. One of the games, called left-right-and-center, used scratch off lottery tickets as the prize. Ian was delighted to find that he won one of the matches, and more delighted still when his scratch offs actually garnered cash!

The next day, after another giant breakfast, we took a walk down to the pond. The kids were delighted when the neighbor cat came to visit them. And Gus (or some other white goose) hung out for a while.

The kids’ shoes were muddy after the pond walk, so I left them out on the porch so the mud would dry out and would be easier to knock off the shoes. Alas, the next day they were still caked up with moist mud, so before people started arriving to celebrate Missouri Christmas, I spent I don’t know how much time trying to scrub mud from their shoes at the outside tap. At the end of all that, I had semi-clean shoes that were soaked through with water.

Christmas at Grammy and Grandpa’s has an order to it. As people arrive, we all snack on the crazy amount of finger food Grammy has assembled. Then we take all the various permutations of family photos. Since the weather was nice, we actually did photos outside in front of the house, which was a pleasant change. Then we come inside and listen to Grandpa read a story. Then finally the waiting is over and glorious presents start getting handed out in as orderly a fashion as can be managed with that many kids “helping.” Paul displayed an uncanny ability to find gifts with his own name on them!

We played some more crazy games that evening and generally tried to see everyone a little bit before the long drive back to Texas. Maya and Ian got some good time with their cousins, and we managed to catch up at least a little bit.

The next morning, we got a pretty early start. I can’t remember the exact details at this point, but I feel like we were on the road, fully packed, between 8 and 9. Grammy sent us home with extra food and beer, but even with that and all the generous gifts everyone had given us, we didn’t have to struggle too hard to get everything in the car.

The kids are older now, so we can manage our stops for bathroom breaks more efficiently. Plus, several states on our route have a 75 mph speed limit instead of 65 or 70, and over an 800 mile journey, that truly does make a difference. Even with multiple stops for food and gas and a couple of traffic slow-downs, we managed to make the drive in 12-12.5 hours, which is actually really good.

We were glad to be home. Part of it is that we missed our cats and part of it was just that we were ready to relax after such a hectic couple of months, but I would be lying if I didn’t admit to a third reason. Stranger Things. We had been enjoying watching that series with the kids, and a handful of episodes had been released while we were on break, culminating in a final episode that was released on New Year’s Eve.

Over the next few days, we caught up to the big finale. And that is how the Woods family spent New Year’s Eve – hanging out on the couch watching the epic and ultimately satisfying conclusion of a series we all dearly loved. [SPOILER] I, for one, choose to believe Elle is still alive. Perhaps we will visit her in Iceland this summer.

We started the month of November at full tilt by going to a parking lot carnival. Maya was invited by a couple friends, and Ian had a friend tag along too. I forget how absolutely soaked our kids have been in thrill ride experiences till I am around kids who haven’t. Both Ian’s friend and one of Maya’s friends were looking a little wobbly after riding some of the rides.

Maya had a very musical couple of days on the following weekend, which were unfortunately preceded by a week of intense Maya stress. She had done well enough in district band auditions to advance to regionals, and that competition was Saturday morning. She was a giant ball of nerves. I have no doubt she did a great job, but unfortunately didn’t place high enough in this audition to move on.

That afternoon, she had her first performance with the Austin Soundwaves youth orchestra. They had been rehearsing once a week for seven weeks by this point, and especially given that fact, they did a great job. Maya is the only oboe in the orchestra, and is always proud when she’s called on to help with tuning.

Then Sunday afternoon, despite us suggesting she not sign up this time, she participated in a piano recital. Even though she wasn’t quite as well-practiced as she normally would be, she still pulled off a very good performance. I think I can safely say, as Maya enjoyed a post-recital ice cream, that most of what she felt at that moment was relief that it was all over for a little while.

The next weekend, we got to watch Ian perform at the farmers market he and his teacher Chris perform at once a month. He did a great job, as always, and it seems like he just keeps getting more and more comfortable with performing.

Ian had been asking for ramen, and while I suspect this is not exactly what he had in mind, the Sunday following his farmers market concert, we went to Ramen del Barrio. I cannot recommend this place enough. My mole tsukemen was amazing, even as leftovers later in the week.

Maya’s birthday was drawing ever nearer, and I had been bugging her about what kind of cake she wanted – flavor, decorations, anything. She provided me absolutely no direction at all. Fortunately or unfortunately for her, when left to my own devices, I get creative.

I tried to make a “marbled” cake this year. Batter in a handful of colors is blobbed into pan, swirled a little, and then baked. I’m not sure I did a great job, but it looked good anyway. The best thing through was the decoration. Maya celebrated her 13th birthday this year, so we did a 6+7 cake.

The six-seven phenomenon, while inscrutable, seemingly sourceless, and maybe a hair annoying has torn through the fabric of school-age society. I think the teachers who are leaning into it have the right idea. The places that have chosen to ban it are making it so much more attractive to the brain-rot crowd. Plus, as these sorts of phenomena go, it seems so harmless.

Anyway, Maya didn’t see it coming, and was left speechless when her cake was presented to her, which is a rarity for her.

We did cake and presents a couple days ahead of her birthday so she could enjoy her birthday dinner on the actual day. We went to Juliet Italian Kitchen, and it was perfect for Maya. She got a big plate of pasta and tiramisu for dessert, which I suspect is her favorite.

Ian had been accepted into the Junior Music Maestros, an after school musical group, and his rehearsal frequency had been picking up throughout the week. At last, on the 20th, we got to see him perform.

This year, they put on a musical called The Claw. The idea is that a bunch of toys live in a non-functioning claw machine in an arcade. One day, it starts working again! One toy is excited for her chance to escape and see the world, another isn’t quite ready yet, but wants to make her friend happy.

Ian was part of the “turtle chorus” (think unbranded Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles). They had some fun songs, but he had no speaking lines, which I think disappointed him a little. The blow was softened by the fact that he got to play guitar for one of the songs (the Pizza Lullaby).

The show was genuinely funny, and despite the fact that some poor kid vomited what had to be two stomach’s worth of stuff on the floor behind us, we really enjoyed it. I think even Ian would tell you he had a good time.

I hate to get bored, so (like a fool), I planned a trip for our Thanksgiving break. We bought plane tickets for times that wouldn’t require the kids to miss any school, which meant leaving late on a Friday night.

Right away, as Woods vacations are wont to do, things started to go awry. We made it past government shutdowns which were impacting staffing for both national parks and TSA. Death Valley had had the wettest fall on record, which led to wide-spread flooding and road closures. Luckily, at least some of the roads had re-opened by the time our Thanksgiving trip rolled around. In the end, it was the airline (or maybe air traffic control, who knows) that got us.

Our flight (thankfully direct) was supposed to leave Austin at 9:45p, but we got notice that morning that it was delayed by about an hour an a half. It shifted around throughout the day, but ultimately we left around 11 o’clock at night for our three hour flight west. Thanks to timezone magic (Vegas is in the Pacific time zone), it was just shy of midnight when we landed. We even had to wait for someone who had a medical emergency to deplane first.

When we finally got onto our plane and got seated, a very excited lady was whooping and hollering about her trip to ~Las Vegas~. We’re thinking she probably wiled away the flight delay at the bar. We overheard that she was a middle school teacher, so for sure she had earned her cocktails and her vacation excitement, but I don’t think the tired and delayed travelers around her were really feeling it. (I missed it, but Sean was sitting closer to her and reports that later on in the flight, she politely hurled and then passed out. I genuinely hope that the rest of her trip was fun.)

The kids worked out pretty quickly that Las Vegas was a different kind of town. For one, we could see the strip glowing in all its casino-ed glory as we came in for a landing. For another, we exited the jetway and were immediately presented with blinking clusters of slot machines. It was bonkers.

We took a slooooow shuttle to our rental car place, and then made directly for the hotel so we could catch a night’s sleep before we got the heck out of town.

The next morning, we allowed ourselves to sleep till 8, since we had arrived so, so late. We had a very mediocre hotel breakfast, repacked what little we had unpacked, and then headed toward Joshua Tree National Park. Figuring that Las Vegas may be the most civilization we’d see for a while, we loaded up on drinks and snacks before hitting the road. This turned out to be a good impulse.

Our mapping apps offered us both a nice, mostly interstate highway route and a more remote route, that we weren’t a hundred percent sure was all paved. After some dickering over our options, we, we chose the road less traveled, and it led us through the Mojave National Preserve. Interestingly, this would also have been the faster route too, had we not found so many interesting things to stop and check out.

For one, the preserve was beautiful. We hadn’t yet made it to either national park, so the long stretches of rocky desert and cactus and Joshua trees were fresh and new to us. Also, it turns out all that remote living must do something to a creative person’s brain, because we saw some wacky stuff.

We came across big marble statues of Chinese lions sitting in a field of nothing against a backdrop of mountains in the distance. These are mythical protectors, guarding against evil. On the way there, we passed by the female pretty fast and by the time our brains processed that that was interesting and stop-worthy, we were far away. Then the male lion presented itself and so we stopped. (We visited the female guardian on the way back up later in the week.)

Maya had told us all about the two lions when we visited the Chinatown part of Honolulu a couple summers ago, at the time having just learned about them in her 5th grade Chinese lessons. She reminded us again this year. The male lion was holding a ball, and the female one was holding a cub. These two are referred to as the “Amboy lions” because they’re in Amboy, California. As I understand it, they appeared sometime in 2013 and no one knows who made them. I want to know how they got them there. They’re large and appear to be made of solid stone.

A bit later on, we found ourselves at “the end of the world.” Installed in 2022, this particular art installation has seen better days. Still it was an unexpected sight as we were zipping along the highway.

We eventually rolled into the city of Twentynine Palms, CA, which would be our home base for exploring Joshua Tree National Park. The first order of business was finding lunch. We stopped in at a fun little place called Grnd Sqrl and enjoyed a couple of interesting local beers and some solid food. The kids kept ordering stuff, appetizers, lunch, dessert, and we didn’t have the presence of mind to stop them, so it was getting late when we finally left.

One of the visitor’s centers for the national park was right there in Twentynine Palms, so we payed our entrance fee and picked up a map and got some truly excellent and helpful information from one of the park rangers there.

We did a quick check of when the sun would set and were astonished to find that sunset time was around 4:30! We wouldn’t have time to get anywhere in time to watch sunset, so instead we drove into the park for a ways and checked out the Skull Rock area. Skull Rock, so named because it resembles a giant skull, is right along the road and immensely popular. The rock was absolutely overrun with people, but we spent a good amount of time clambering around on the boulders and cliffs beyond. Ian was in love. That kid really enjoys climbing, and the rocks here are pretty grippy, so he could get himself into all kinds of trouble climbing up and up and up with entirely too much confidence.

We drove on a little further admiring the giant Joshua trees and wishing we had more time. When it got to be too dark to really see anything, we headed back into town to check into our hotel. We were all still a little worn out from our long travel day the day before, so we hit the easy button on dinner and just walked across the street to a California fast food chain called Del Taco. Maya and Ian loved it. Searching out Del Taco locations became something of a theme for them on this vacation, so delighted were they with the food. And for fast food, it honestly wasn’t too bad.

The next morning, we were up and out the door by 5:45 so we could try to catch the sunrise at the Cholla Cactus Garden. Joshua Tree National Park is interesting in that is covers portions of both the higher-elevation, cooler Mojave Desert in the west and the lower-elevation, warmer Colorado Desert in the east. We spent our entire time in the northwest portion of the park, but our foray down to the Cholla Cactus Garden is in the Pinto Basin part of the park which is definitely part of the Colorado Desert. (The park’s namesake Joshua trees thrive in the Mojave Desert, while cacti prefer the hotter, drier Colorado.)

Cholla cacti are sometimes known as “teddy bear cactus” for the almost fuzz-like appearance of their spines. Sometimes, they’re known as “jumping cactus” for their paddles’ propensity to break off and become lodged in the boots, sleeves, etc of incautious hikers. The sunrise as it peeks over the mountains in the east, backlights the spine layer of the cholla cacti, giving them the appearance of glowing.

After finishing at Cholla, we went to hike the trail to Arch Rock and Heart Rock. These were fun destinations in and of themselves, but getting to clamber around on the boulders again was very happy-making for Ian.

It was around 9 or so when we finished there, and we were all getting hungry, so we headed back into town for breakfast at Benny’s. The Benny’s location was, we’re pretty sure, a minimally re-skinned Denny’s, but the food was excellent and we all had a very nice and filling breakfast.

Upon returning to the park, we were presented with a line of cars at the entrance. Whoops. This is where we discovered that we maybe should have packed along some food and just stayed in the park all day.

We drove to our next intended hiking destination – Barker Dam – only to discover the lot was completely full. We back-tracked to the Hidden Valley trail and circled the lot probably a half dozen times, always watching someone else get the spots that opened up. In frustration, we went back to Barker Dam, where the lot structure was a little more equitable, having more of a one-out, one-in set up. It wasn’t long before a spot opened up, and we were at last heading in for a hike.

The Barker Dam hike offers some interesting variety. There are Joshua trees and boulder piles of course, but there are also petroglyphs made by Native Americans as much as 2000 years ago, and a now-abandoned dam that was built to support a short-lived cattle ranch in the 1900s. The dam still helps water to collect, providing a drinking source for desert fauna.

It was a nice, if very popular, hike and Sean and Ian indulged in some more rock climbing, while Maya and I sat in the shade and chit-chatted and ate some snacks.

We next stopped to try out the Hall of Horrors area of the park. This part of the park is supposed to have a couple of cool slot canyons to explore. Unfortunately, even though we covered a lot of ground, we never managed to find them. I was going to rewatch a video explaining the route, but of course there was no cell signal at all, so we chalked it up as a nice hike even without slot canyons.

It was getting on toward sunset at this point, so we drove out to Keys View to give ourselves enough time to find parking and to poke around the area a little before the sun fully set. We have there a little after 3 for a 4:30 sunset and this proved to be a wise choice (file that under “fool me once”). We snagged one of the last parking spots and not long after, a huge line began to extend from the lot.

I was excited about Keys View because if conditions were right, we’d get to see the San Andreas fault. Alas, conditions were not right. The whole of the valley was filled with a fluffy layer of cloud. We even saw a widening and flattening of the cloud layer that we suspect was the beginnings of the Salton Sea to the southeast, but we couldn’t quite be sure of what we were seeing, so thick was the cloud cover.

Maya was funny. She and Ian were bored, so they climbed up a mountainside path and then Maya parked herself on a rock to write music in her notebook while Ian tropsied around doing who knows what – hopefully respecting the fragile desert landscape and not putting himself in too much danger.

And watching the sun setting behind the mountains is nice and all, but at this location, you’re facing west into that setting sun, so it was tough to photograph. Sean did his best though and either way, it was beautiful. Even all the mist and cloud cover are lovely in their way – it’s just not what we wanted to see in that moment. As per usual, nature doesn’t care what you want. Nature’s gonna nature – you just have to decide how you’re gonna feel about it. The moment the sun dropped behind the mountains, the temperature dropped noticeably, so mostly how we felt about it was kinda cold and ready to load up and hit the road.

Maya and Ian had put up with a lot of hiking and had to wait through both sunrise and sunset photography excursions, so we acquiesced to their request for Del Taco again for dinner. We had had a long day that started early, so it wasn’t long after dinner that we went to bed.

The following morning, we decided that we’d had our fill of Joshua Tree National Park, and chose to gas up the car and head toward Death Valley right away instead of going back in. We retraced our steps a little ways and managed to get the female Amboy lion. We stopped in Baker, CA, alleged home of the world’s largest thermometer, for yet another visit to Del Taco for lunch.

We rolled up to the Furnace Creek visitor’s center around 2 in the afternoon, and boy was it a different experience from the Twentynine Palms visitor center for Joshua Tree had been. It was crazy busy. We managed to grab one of the last parking spots and walked in to find we were waiting in a big line to pay for our entrance fee, collect a map, and get some advice on which roads were open and what hikes and things were still doable (since the floods had damaged so many roads).

We had learned our lesson regarding the very early sunsets already, and so we drove directly to our sunset location – Zabriskie Point. The great thing about arriving a bit early was that we had some time to hike a little bit in this very otherworldly landscape.

The multi-hued mountains in this area in particular are almost completely devoid of vegetation and have been left deeply ridged by erosion. I learned just now that those colors come courtesy of mineral deposits – iron, manganese, and mica. It was gorgeous, if a little hot, to walk around for a while into the badlands part of the park.

We again found ourselves facing westward into the setting sun, so for the most part, our photos capture the deepening of the colors and shadows in the surrounding mountains.

There was absolutely zero cell phone coverage where we were, so we drove back toward the visitors center to sponge their WiFi so we could pull down instructions to our VRBO in Beatty. Truth told, in this case, we could probably have just used a map and been perfectly fine. There aren’t *that* many roads to bother with. Still, Death Valley National Park is massive, and while Beatty is right near the border, it still took us probably 45 minutes or so to get there from the visitors center.

Beatty is just over the border in Nevada, and so, at the kids’ request, we found ourselves at a Denny’s inside a casino for dinner that night. It was fine – about what you’d expect – but we were reminded that being amidst all that cigarette smoke is unpleasant, especially for Maya. With dinner settled, we headed back to our “home” to knock out some laundry and rest up for another early morning.

We woke up at 4:30 that morning to make the long drive from Beatty to the Mesquite Flat Sand Dunes to watch sunrise. There isn’t a trail as such at this part of the park. You just strike out from the parking lot into the giant sand dunes and try to stay oriented with the mountains all around you.

I think normally when conditions are drier, the wind sweeps the footprints away from the dunes overnight. Since it had been raining so much, the sand was actually kind of wet. Probably this meant that it was easier for us to climb the dunes than it might normally be, but it also meant there was lots of evidence of other humans.

Still, it was incredible to see. Mountains to the north provide the material to erode and blow into dunes. Mountains to the south provide the barrier to keep the dunes hanging out in this one place. The sunrise cast wonderful golden light. We saw the mountains pinking up around us and the deep shadows of the gently rolling dunes becoming more distinct as the part in daylight brightened. We spent a long time climbing around, taking photos.

The kids for their part did their best to slide down the dunes, but it was just too wet. They may or may not have drawn inappropriate things in the sand. We made them erase everything we knew about. Probably the wind would have eventually taken care of it.

We had wandered out further than we realized, so it took a while to walk back to the car. I don’t think it was even 8:00 by the time we left, but the golden light was already gone by then. By then we were all hungry anyway, so we headed to the nearby Stovepipe Wells Village part of the park to get breakfast at the Toll Road Restaurant.

It took us a bit to find the restaurant, but once we did, the kids were delighted to discover that it was a buffet. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but it was actually a really good breakfast. We all could load up sufficiently for all the hiking we still had ahead of us.

We went first to try out the Mosaic Canyon hike. This one had us kind of backtracking past Mesquite Flat again, so it made sense to get it out of the way first. There is a 2-ish mile gravel road to get back to the start of the hike, which we were assured should be fine in a regular car. It was on the hairy edge of fine. That road was rough!

The hike itself is actually pretty long, but my interest was to get to hike through the narrows part of the trail, so we didn’t need to walk the whole way. Mosaic Canyon is so named because in and amongst the smooth dolomite, there are bands and outcroppings made up of small rocks held together by a sort of natural cement, forming what can be poetically referred to as a mosaic. The dolomite parts of the hike were indeed very, very smooth, and we had to be careful when there was any kind of water.

Following this, we headed generally toward Badwater Basin with a couple stops en route. We stopped first at Harmony Borax Works. Everyone thinks about the California gold rush, but borax mining and refining were central to the good fortunes in the area for a period of time. The Harmony Borax works, at its height produced 3 tons a day. The operation only ran for five years, from 1883 to 1888.

The borax was pulled by “twenty-mule teams” and we got to see one of the twenty-mule team wagons. How does a twenty-mule team function? I found this article informative.

While Artist’s Drive / Artist’s Palette was en route, thanks to the ongoing flooding, the road remained closed during our entire visit and has been more closed than open ever since we left. The colors in the rocks that we enjoyed so much at Zabriskie Point are supposed to be even richer and more varied along this drive.

Even along the drive though, the mountainsides were showing off their varied colors, especially later on once the sun started to drop in the sky. It may not have been Artist’s Palette, but it was spectacular nonetheless.

Our next stop was at the Natural Bridge trail. This is a relatively short hike along a canyon bottom. The natural bridge in question is about 35-feet up. Sean and Ian hung around this area and did some climbing. Maya hung out and kept an eye on them. I wandered back a little further to see some “dry waterfalls.” It was all kind of peaceful with the canyon walls towering above.

And finally, the thing we thought we may not even get to see since the road had been closed until right before our trip – Badwater Basin! This is the lowest point in the contiguous United States at 282 feet below sea level. When you’re out on the boardwalk from the parking area, you can look way up at the cliff behind you and see a sign marking where sea level is. It’s a weird feeling.

Because there had been so much rain, we didn’t get to walk out onto the salt flats much. Instead, we got to witness Lake Manly in all its still, reflective glory. That water doesn’t flow anywhere, so it will be there until it evaporates. Seeing as more rain has hit the area since even since we’ve visited, it doesn’t seem like that will happen too soon. Then again, with summer highs hitting 120 degrees and more, maybe it won’t take long at all once it warms up.

I was curious so I looked it up – the salt in the salt flats is mostly the expected sodium chloride, however it’s mixed with calcite, gypsum, and borax. Don’t lick the salt!

We stopped by the Furnace Creek Visitors center to buy some sandwiches so we could stave off dinner for a bit and not miss our last sunset in the parks. Then we drove out to Dante’s Peak. We went from 282 feet below sea level to around 5500 feet above. Between the elevation change and the setting sun, it was brisk! Sean and I layered up and hung out to watch all the pretty, pretty. The kids didn’t even try. They bailed and went to hang out in the car, away from the wind.

They say that from Dante’s Peak on a clear day you can see both the lowest point in the contiguous US (Badwater Basin) and the highest (Mount Whitney). We definitely saw snow-capped peaks from where we were, but it wasn’t clear enough for us to have seen Mount Whitney. It was cold and we were again facing into the setting sun, but it was a lovely way to close out our Death Valley visit.

We made the long drive back to Beatty after this. There are a handful of local restaurants in the area, but this kids wanted Subway. They had been pretty good sports about all the hiking and weird meal times, so we gave in. I wasn’t paying perfect attention to their order, though it seemed like they were definitely running their sandwich maker around a little. They wound up eating bacon and pepperoni sandwiches, and I didn’t even care. The Subway was inside a giant candy shop – the Death Valley Nut and Candy Company – so we let everyone buy a bag of candy too (though I bought a bag savory trail mix instead – it was excellent).

We spent the rest of our evening doing laundry and generally relaxing. Even though Death Valley National Park is renowned for its dark, dark skies, we just couldn’t muster the energy to head back into the park.

The next morning, we got up and finished packing and headed out to Gemma’s Cafe for breakfast. I had some really excellent enchiladas and the fresh fruit they served alongside was actually good. Hooray!

We headed out to nearby Rhyolite to see the ghost town ruins there. Its story is not unique. Gold was found. A boom ensued. Its financial peak was probably around 1907. The population had swollen to around 5000. In a one-two punch, the market took a hit and the ore quality at the mine went downhill, and by 1920, the town was all but empty.

I don’t have a lot of ghost town experience, but enough structure was intact that you could kind of imagine how it might once have been. We saw a bank and a schoolhouse. We saw a typical miner’s residence. We learned about the red light district.

My favorite thing though may have been the old rail station. With its big Joshua Tree out front, you could just imagine an old west altercation getting ready to happen, drawling dialogue, gunfight, and all. It was very cinematic.

Under the “weird” category was the Tom Kelly Bottle House. Wood was scarce in the desert and glass bottles, apparently, were not. The bottles were used as bricks of a sort and mortared together. Apparently, he paid the local kids ten cents for a wheelbarrow load of bottles (about $3 today).

On our way out of the ghost town, we stopped at an open air art exhibit that we had noticed on the way in. The Goldwell Open Air Museum does nothing to dissuade me from believing that all that remoteness or the infernal heat of the desert does something to a creative person’s brain. The art at this museum is absolutely not boring (though we still couldn’t get the kids to get out of the car and check it out).

Set back against a hill is “The Pink Lady” by Dr Hugo Heyeman. She is a sort of pixelated nude. I had been teasing the kids that she was a Minecraft lady, since she was so blocky. But actually, the sculpture was made in 1991, far before Minecraft existed.

Their version of The Last Supper (1984 – Albert Szulalski) is abstract and oddly haunting. There are houses that appear to be sinking into the earth. There’s a “Keep Going” (2023 Michelle Graves) sign whose letters only look correct if you read the shadow they cast. There’s a stone spiral that apparently has been created by museum visitors over the years.

When planning the trip, I had read that Beatty has a population of feral burros. We hadn’t seen any thus far, but as we had seen very few other critters, I wasn’t all that surprised I guess. Here at the art museum, we heard them braying before we saw them. Sean spotted them way off in the distance along the hillside. We watched them for a while as they ambled down the hill and made their way closer. There was a baby amongst them (a burrito?) and against the backdrop of mountains and the foreground of odd art, it was nice to be still and drink it in.

Finally it was time to drive up to sin city so we could get ourselves checked in with plenty of time to get to our first reservation. It was a shorter drive from Death Valley to Las Vegas than it had been from Vegas to Joshua Tree National Park. Once in town, we had a quick fast food lunch and then headed to our hotel to check in.

Park MGM is unique in that it is a non-smoking facility. That’s right, even in the casino portion, no smoking is allowed. We initially made that choice in deference to Maya’s fire and smoke aversion, but I’ll be honest, it was nice to hang out in a relatively clean smelling room while we were there.

We didn’t linger long before heading out to our first destination for the evening, The Neon Museum. We had booked a 5pm reservation, figuring we’d get to see the signage both in lingering daylight and in darkness, but given how early the sun set, it was full-on dark by the time we got there.

The Neon Museum may have been my favorite thing we did while in Las Vegas. Signs in various states of repair were either glowing in restored bulbs and neon or floodlit, so you could see them anyway. Friendly and very informative docents were parked around the property to share as much information as you’re willing to stand and listen to about their exhibits.

After we made probably a good three laps around all the neon and visited the gift shop and collected our souvenir photos, it was time for dinner. I wanted to visit the Container Park mostly to see the wacky praying mantis who shoots fire out of his antennae, but also I figured it would be a fun place to find dinner. And it was! The kids had poke bowls and Sean and I shared a pizza from Mob Pie and we sat outside and ate. Ian played in the playground (Maya was too old!). On our way in, we got to watch the praying mantis dance and shoot fire, and while Maya was not enthused, the rest of us thought it was fun.

Next we headed over to Freemont Street, for our dose of what used to be old Las Vegas. We walked up and down the street, heads swiveling, trying to take it all in. Ninety feet above is a canopy of LED lights, “literally the largest canopy LED screen in the world.” There are 16.4 million pixels and 49.3 million LED lamps stretching a full 1,375 feet overhead. Add to the mayhem that there are people up there zip lining from either direction. We watched the 8p Katy Perry rendition of the Viva Vision show, and for my part, I very much prefer to watch the fun designs splash across the screen.

Then on ground level, classic Vegas reigned supreme with bright lights flashing and neon cowboys saying howdy. Of course, Freemont Street is pretty “colorful” in the character department too. There were scantily clad women and (less frequently) men ready to take their photo with you. Buskers were busy dancing, performing magic, and making spray paint art in hopes of separating passers-by from their dollars. T-shirts were on sale with all manner of NSFW slogans. The kids roundly scolded us for bringing them there.

They forgave us though, because toward the end of our trip, we noticed Pink Box doughnuts and grabbed a bunch of those so we’d have breakfast the next morning (I had the “John Lemon”).

We had doughnuts and leftover pizza and were ready to ditch the car, so we drove back to the hotel to regroup. Since it was still pretty early, the intention had been to the walk up to the Bellagio to watch the fountains for a little while before heading back and crashing. As it happens, we do-daddled around for so long, that my heart wasn’t really in it by the time we finally left.

On the walk there, which wasn’t long by Vegas standards, we noticed things looked radically different from when we were last there, which admittedly was over 20 years ago. Big banks of LEDs accosted you at every turn, even on passing vehicles, blowing out your pupils and making it tough to see. There was so much more shopping than I remember there being before. And there was weird infrastructure all over the place, leftover from the Formula 1 race that had just happened the week before. Fine, fine, no problem. We figured it out and got to where we needed to go. And all the new (to us) casinos provided some pretty interesting architecture to ogle.

When we finally got to Bellagio, we were dismayed to discover that we would not, in fact, get to go to part of the sidewalk directly centered with the casino and its glorious fountain show. Formula 1 struck again. Apparently for the race, they install a big ugly structure right in front of the fountain. The lucky folks sitting there, when not staring at the race on one side could turn around and stare at the fountains on the other side. Apparently these seats go for something like $9,000 a pop, the gulf between the haves and the have nots, ever widening.

What we could see of the fountains was very pretty, and we could have tried walking around a little more toward the hotel side of the fountains for a better view, but by then we were tired of walking and fighting crowds and were maybe a little disenchanted, so we walked back to our hotel for a good night’s sleep instead.

The next morning, actual Thanksgiving Day, we were going to get to do something I had been looking forward to since I started planning the trip. We were going to see a show at The Sphere. The Sphere is, actually, a giant sphere – or at least a partial one, standing 366 feet tall and 516 feet wide (the largest spherical building in the world) and coated in LEDs (it’s “exosphere” features 580,000 square feet of LEDs). Anyone in the right spot in Las Vegas can admire the exterior, and while it’s visible during the day, it’s particularly stunning at night.

Inside, the “media plane” is 160,000 square feet, 20 times larger than an IMAX. There are 167,000 programmable speakers that can be fine-tuned so that each seat will have sounds fine-timed for the individual patron’s experience. The seats feature haptics that can be employed for even more immersion.

We chose to take an Uber to the Sphere that morning, and even our driver had a tough time navigating with all the blocked lanes and weird infrastructure left over from the F1 race.

We were there to see The Sphere’s version of Wizard of Oz, but I thought there were supposed to be unique interactive exhibits even before we went into the main auditorium. Apparently those exhibits are no more. There were some neat visual effects (giant crystal ball, holographic screen) and a few small photo ops. For the most part though, after spending a little time looking around, we bought some overpriced snacks and found our seats.

The Wizard of Oz as done at the Sphere is amazing though. Seats jolt and vibrate in conjunction with the action in the film. Practical effects (wind, fire, flying monkeys) augment all the digital finesse. And the huge display and targeted sounds are truly fantastic. My favorite thing by far was the tornado scene. Air swirled around you with paper leaves caught in the breeze, your seat buzzed, and the audio was intense. At one point we were swooped into the eye of the tornado. The effect was enhanced by the haptics and audio shifting from quiet to loud and Dorothy took us into and out of the house.

Apples fell from the ceiling when the trees pelted our adventurers for trying to steal apples, “snow” sprinkled down when they were in the poppy fields, and animatronic monkeys swooped through the Sphere as the wicked witch urged them to fly. I feel that it was overpriced for what it was, but I don’t regret seeing the show. I think all four Woodses were suitably delighted with the experience.

I had read that a good way to watch the Sphere from the outside was to hang out on the elevated walkway between the Venetian and Wynn casinos. This was indeed a good spot, but even as bright as it was during the day, we knew we’d have to come see it again after dark.

We made our way over to the Venetian for our late Thanksgiving lunch at a Mexican restaurant called Canonita. Even walking through the Venetian was a pretty wild experience. Years ago, pre-kids, Sean and I spent time in Venice, and even as manufactured as it was, it definitely sent me right back to our time in Italy. The ceiling is painted to look like a blue daylight sky, replete with puffy white clouds and uplighting from the “buildings” along the canals, yes canals complete with gondolas, that ran throughout.

Many casinos’ restaurants feature huge buffets to celebrate Thanksgiving, and I did consider booking one of those instead, but the impression I was left with is that the crowds at such an event can be terrible, and that the food wasn’t necessarily what one might desire. For that reason, we just booked a normal table at a restaurant that featured a Thanksgiving menu, but didn’t do a big buffet.

We were promptly seated “outside” at Canonita. It wasn’t long at all before our friendly server supplied the grown ups with cocktails and the kids with sodas. Sean and I mostly stuck with things from their Thanksgiving menu, but the kids did their own thing, Ian enjoying some kind of braised bone in short rib and Maya absolutely devouring a seafood stew. Our “traditional” food had a lovely Yucatecan flair with poblanos in the mashed potatoes and crunchy pepitas dotting our cornbread. It was a delightful and relaxing feast, all the way around.

Somehow our kids had room for dessert, so I took Ian for candy and Sean took Maya for gelato afterward.

After that, it was time for some Las Vegas strip sight seeing, as weird as that sounds. We walked first to the Flamingo casino to see their free Flamingo Wildlife Habitat. They care for a flock of gorgeous Chilean flamingos there. Additionally, there are a variety of ducks and lots of koi. We saw lots of pretty little hummingbirds visiting their feeders as well. It was a relaxing little escape from the crowded sidewalks and casinos.

Next we headed to Caesar’s Palace to check out the Fall of Atlantis free show. I am constantly surprised at how difficult it can be to locate specific things within a casino. Objectively, I understand that they’re designed to keep you in, to make it hard to leave. We walked for quite a ways before we finally found that blessed show.

The Fall of Atlantis attraction originally opened in 1997, and it is showing its age. That said, for a little slice of weird Vegas nostalgia, the price can’t be beat. Plus the aquarium in the same area is actually pretty fantastic.

Before we headed back toward our hotel, we walked back up to watch the Sphere in the dark. Sure, everything they displayed was ultimately an advertisement for something, but this part of the Sphere can be enjoyed by anyone for free and it was absolutely mesmerizing to watch.

Finally, we headed over to Bellagio again to see its famous Conservatory in all of its holiday glory. Each season, the Conservatory gets a complete transformation. When we were there, it was decked out for the holidays. Currently, it’s been redone to represent lunar new year.

When we visited, on Thanksgiving day, the crowds were almost intolerable. The decorations were amazing and I was glad to have seen then, but I was equally happy when we decided to leave. We did take the time to walk past the World’s largest chocolate fountain at the Bellagio Patisserie.

It is a 27-foot tall tower that moves something like two thousand pounds of liquid chocolate. According to Atlas Obscura, in 2019 a 30-foot tall chocolate fountain was unveiled in a Lindt store in Zurich.

Everyone’s dogs were barking at this point, so we were all happy to take the free tram from Bellagio to Park MGM. We went down to the Eataly market within Park MGM for dinner. Each of us could choose the particular food we felt like eating and enjoy it in a lovely smoke-free environment.

On our last day in the area, we decided to try to see Hoover Dam, so the kids could take the “dam tour.” We had a quick snacky breakfast and packed sufficiently for the airport later in the day. We thought we might stop by the famous Fabulous Las Vegas sign on our way out, but there was a massive line and we decided it was ultimately not worth it to us.

We drove the roughly 45 minutes to Hoover Dam, got inside, and bought tickets for the power plant tour. We sat and watched an informative video where Ian learned that workers made about $4 a day. Ian wanted to know if that was good or bad. During the desperation of the Depression, it probably seemed like good money, but Ian and I looked it up. Four dollars in 1928 is worth about $75 today. That would have been for twelve hours of hard, dangerous labor, so no, it probably wasn’t strictly a fair wage.

After our video, we waited in line for the elevator that would have taken us down to see the power plant. After a fair amount of waiting with nothing happening, they finally told us all that the elevator had stopped working. We had a plane to catch later, so we got a refund for our tour tickets and went outside to walk around on the dam some.

The kids got to stand one in Nevada and one in Arizona, which had the added fun of being in two different time zones. The dam was huge and epic and even though I’d seen it before, I was just as amazed to see it a second time. On our way out, we stopped by the Mike O’Callaghan–Pat Tillman Memorial Bridge for excellent views back toward the dam.

We had just enough time to sneak in one more quick lunch at Del Taco on our way to the airport, get our rental car turned in, and get to our flight. In fact, we were cutting it a little close. We accidentally drove to the airport before remembering that that is not where we picked our car up. After turning our car in and taking our slooow shuttle back, we didn’t have much time at all. We were happy to see that the security line wasn’t too long.

As we were just going through the security checkpoint, removing coats and unpacking electronics and whatnot to go through the scanners, when Ian started to panic. He had left his iPad in the rental car. Even though I asked him to verify he had everything before we got out. Even though I routinely ask them to put things back in their bags after they use them. Even so, he had left it. We think he tucked away to keep it out of sight during one of our stops and then accidentally hid it from himself.

Our flight would be leaving soon, so we finished going through security and Sean tried to call the rental car agency. He had a lost property ticket opened in no time, but no matter what button he pushed, he couldn’t talk to an actual person.

Our flight boarded, and we vowed to pick up the fight once we were back in Austin. We made it back to home, tired and worried about Ian’s iPad, but otherwise, none the worse for wear.

The next morning, Sean again tried to deal with Ian’s iPad, again calling and being shutnted over and over to instructions inviting him to open a ticket for the lost property. He tried to use Apple “Find My” to locate Ian’s iPad, but it wasn’t working from his phone. Finally on Sunday, Sean noticed that the iPhone we let Ian use as a wifi device was able to locate Ian’s iPad. There it sat in the rental car center. Well, at least it hadn’t yet gone out with another rental.

Sean didn’t get to talk to a human till Monday. Every time he tried to choose options for lost and found, he got sent to the national folks. On Monday, he selected options that sent him to customer service instead. After some back and forth, they located the iPad, verified that it was truly ours, and shipped it back to us. It was at our expense, but that was far less than a new iPad would have been. The kids had just gotten those iPads last Christmas, so they were very new. (Ironically, we had gotten them nicer models since they had shown how responsible they were with the old ones.) Whew!

Sunday, the last day of November, we went to Papa Noel and picked up our Christmas tree. Our goal for this day was simply to get the tree home and mounted in a tree stand. We got very lucky this year. We found a wonderfully full tree in our preferred height. It was so full, the guys at Papa Noel had a little trouble getting it wrapped in netting for mounting on the car. We were just able to get it through the front door with the netting on. We’ll have to see how the heck we’re gonna get it out of the house (yeah, we haven’t taken it down yet).

And then things got really busy. December. Oof. Thank goodness, we had our traveling break, or it might have been a rough one to get through.

October was a rough month, weather-wise. The central Texans are kind of all done with summer by this point, but the temperature insists on being in the 90s, day in and day out. Add to that the lack of rain and those of us that garden just feel sad. Often fall is kind of a second spring in our part of Texas, but with so little rain and so much heat, that wasn’t really happening.

Outside of the weather, and middle school homework, we had a pretty fun month. Though Maya is in symphonic band in school and plays the oboe, she and her classmates all sat in the bleachers and performed at a middle school homecoming football game recently. I wasn’t really a going-to-the-football-game person in high school. I wouldn’t be now, if I didn’t have a band kid. But I’ll admit, it was fun to sit and watch the kids play football, and fight songs.

Then, after getting home late that night, we got up early to head to the airport and fly to Orlando for a long weekend. Maya and Ian had a four-day-weekend in mid-October at school, a Friday and Monday off. We responsibly scheduled flights so that they wouldn’t miss any additional days, but then our flights were rescheduled to absolutely terrible travel times, and so we made the decision to leave on Thursday instead. And we were flying in and out of Tampa rather than Orlando and renting a car to mitigate costs.

Arriving on Thursday let us have a relaxing afternoon at the hotel. We stayed at the Stella Nova hotel, which is a Universal resort. The plan for this quick trip was to spend on day at Disney and two days at the new Universal park, Epic Universe. We felt it would be a hassle to transfer luggage and whatnot between hotels, so we just parked it at the Universal hotel for the whole trip.

The property was pretty – the hotel had kind of a space-age look to it. The iridescent tilework on the outside of the building was beautiful in the sunshine. We lucked out and were given a room on the top floor, with a view of the park. There was a big, pretty pool that was largely empty on a Thursday afternoon in October. We all got suited up and hoped the stormy weather would hold off long enough for us to get a good swim in.

After a relaxing in the pool for a while, we went over to CityWalk to have dinner at The Toothsome Chocolate Emporium. We enjoyed this so much during our last trip to Universal, that we decided to visit again. It was so, so crowded, and the service was a little slow, but our food was good. Maya had some kind of mocktail that featured pop rocks, and so we were all getting pelted with bits of pop rocks candy as it exploded from the top of her drink. Sean and the kids all had GIANT crazy milkshakes too. I have no idea where they found room for that. I was so full from my dinner.

We started to head back to the hotel and were presented with an absolute downpour. I had brought a couple sets of rain ponchos for the four of us, figuring that one could be drying out in the hotel room as we were wearing the other during our park day. As it happens, ours got a workout before we even set foot in a park. Even with the ponchos though, our shoes were very squishy by the time we made it back to the hotel. And poor Sean wore flip-flops, so he was a slip sliding mess (though he was the only one who had dry shoes to wear the next day).

We spent the first full day in Orlando visiting Walt Disney World. The idea was to park-hop and catch some of the new attractions that we hadn’t experienced yet, while working in a few favorites and some fun dining as well. This post can be found here.

Our main reason for visiting though was to check out Universal’s newest park, Epic Universe. This park is amazing. We spent two days there, lingering over details and meals and enjoying fun attractions. This post can be found here.

On our final day in Orlando, Maya and Ian managed to get one last swim in at the hotel pool before we had to pack up and leave. After checking out, we headed over to Disney Springs to shop a little and have some lunch. We had a lovely, but ridiculously portioned, lunch at Chef Art Smith’s Homecomin’. The chicken was outstanding and the baked Mac n cheese was really solid as well, but any one entree could easily feed two people, And of course, we had to leave the leftovers because we were flying home later that day.

The virtual queue at Gideon’s Bakehouse was prohibitively long, so instead, we tried out the cookie bar at the Summer House on the Lake restaurant. The cookies were really good, to be sure, but the ambiance at Gideon’s can’t be beat.

And then we drove to Tampa airport. Getting there, returning our car, and getting checked in were all uneventful. Maya was behind on her ELA homework, so she sat in the airport writing a paper for school. Later on, she finished yet another paper while in the airplane flying home.

That very next weekend on Friday, Ian had his final fall carnival at Davis. They hold Boofest every year in the fall as a fundraiser, and the kids enjoy the games and snacks and hanging out with their friends. Since several older siblings attend, Maya even found a friend to hang out with. Ian started the carnival dressed in his costume, but it was so damned hot, he eventually gave up and took it off. Maya, for her part, hadn’t chosen a costume yet.

The next day, Ian performed again at the farmers market in his guitar teacher’s neighborhood. Sean tells me it was a good performance and they seemed to have fun.

The next weekend, Maya attended district band auditions for oboe. Out of the competing oboes in Austin ISD, she placed well enough to advance to regionals, so she was pretty excited about that, though she lamented that she’d have to continue worrying about it till regional auditions were over.

Halloween week, while very busy, ultimately went pretty well. I gutted pumpkins and Sean helped the kids carve them. Maya chose to make Toothless, from How to Train Your Dragon. Ian made Groot from the Marvel universe.

I bought some fancier carving tools this year, so our artists could try doing some sculpting. I’m thinking the candles we stick in the jack-o-lanterns aren’t bright enough, because unless we cut all the way through the pumpkin flesh, light didn’t make it through (the places where the skin and partial flesh are carved away are supposed to be translucent). They both turned out really well, but shortly after Halloween, some creature ate Groot’s face.

Ian dressed as a zombie. Last year he was a zombie pirate. Given how he had me apply his makeup, I think this year, he may have been going for zombie clown? I’m not sure. Between temporary tattoos that looked like stitched wounds and bite marks and crazy makeup, Ian looked right ghoulish and seemed very pleased with his appearance. He was especially fond of the bloody plastic ax he carried around as part of his costume.

Maya, after much deliberation, decided to be a bird. We found blue wings and a pretty blue mask that came with a feathered headband. In thinking it through, she decided to wear her orange feathered shirt that we made as part of her rufous hummingbird costume a while back. She decided that with blue wings and an orange and white middle, she was an eastern bluebird.

Thankfully, the weather cooled off by the end of the month, finally. Both kids wound up going with friends trick or treating. This is the first year we haven’t had to accompany one or more kids as they wandered through the neighborhood trick or treating. It was odd. Maya went with a friend from school who actually lives very close to us. They had a couple more kids come over as well, so it was a four-pack of creatures roaming the streets. I asked Maya if she wanted me to stay. In her self-aware way, she explained that if I stayed, she would just hang out with me, but if I wasn’t there, she’d stick with her friends. And so I went home, and by all accounts, she had a nice time.

During the month, we also got school photos for each of the kids. I was sad that the green was already gone from Ian’s hair – that would have made for a fun school photo.

We nearly didn’t get Maya’s photo at all. I noticed that they were doing picture retakes at the end of October, and it had me wondering how you’d know you wanted your picture retaken if you hadn’t seen the original. I asked Maya about it – nope, she didn’t know anything about them handing out school photos. We eventually pestered her into talking to the right teacher and finally she managed to come home with the envelop with the code we needed to download her digital image.

In real time, the government shut down is causing all kinds of trouble. Federal workers aren’t getting paid. Food assistance isn’t being funded. Flights are being canceled. It’s a mess, and just in time for Thanksgiving.

Day One – Hold my Butterbeer

Universal Epic Universe has a slightly more civilized opening time than Animal Kingdom. The park opens at 10:00. Since we were staying at a Universal property, we were able to enter early at 9:00. Sean also placed us in the Stella Nova hotel, which let us either take a roughly 10 minute walk to the park or take a short ride on a shuttle bus to get there. Since the bus was already waiting when we walked out of the hotel, we hopped on. By roughly 8:20, we were at the park, eagerly awaiting its opening.

There are five “worlds” at Epic Universe:

• The Wizarding World of Harry Potter – Ministry of Magic
• Dark Universe, which is a world featuring classic movie monsters (Dracula, Frankenstein’s monster, etc)
• Super Nintendo World
• How to Train your Dragon – Isle of Berk
• Celestial Park, which acts as a sort of hub, providing access to the other worlds

On Day 1, we planned to focus on the first two of these worlds. We didn’t want to pay the exorbitant fee for express passes for four people, so Sean did some research ahead of time and worked out what our day one “rope drop” strategy should be. While the attraction doesn’t technically open till 10:00, even waiting a full hour to ride the Harry Potter and the Battle at the Ministry ride is a relatively short wait, so that’s the first thing we headed toward when we were allowed in at 9:00.

Sean had told us ahead of time that the ride queue for this attraction was supposed to be next-level, and he was not wrong. We left the 1920s Paris of the Wizarding world (as seen in the Fantastic Beasts series) and dropped into the British Ministry of Magic. After entering the ride through the Floo network (a big stone fireplace, glowing green), we then wander the halls of the Ministry. Richly colored tiles cover the hallways. Doorways and “WANTED” posters, both with names fans will be familiar with, mark the path. Entering the main atrium of the Ministry nearly takes one’s breath away. The scale is incredible, and so, so detailed. I suspect it leaves even non-fans a bit awestruck.

Apparently the vehicle we’re in, a would-be elevator or lift (which at the Ministry is, of course, omnidirectional), is mounted on an “advanced motion base”, which enables smooth, multi-directional motion simulation. We’re meant to see Dolores Umbridge stand trial for her crimes, and naturally, she does not go quietly. The lift careens through several departments in various stages of destruction from the wizard battling that’s happening all around you. What was impressive to me was the near-seamless merging of digital imagery and animatronics. It was a very fun and completely immersive ride.

As we exited the ride, I glanced at the time. Sean had said sometimes they open the ride early if the queue builds up. It must have opened very early on that day, because it was well before 10:00 when we re-entered 1920s Paris.

After a quick stop to get the kids butterbeers, we headed over to the Stardust Racers pair of coasters. This is technically in the Celestial Park part of Epic, but the standby wait time was only 15 minutes, so we sprung for it.

On September 17th, a man died while riding this coaster, and of course, Universal shut the ride down immediately. After an “extensive” investigation, the ride was deemed to have not malfunctioned and that the attendants operated the ride correctly, and so it reopened in early October. We thought it over and surmised that a theme park doesn’t benefit in any way from continuing to operate an unsafe ride, and so we decided it would be acceptable for us to give this one a go.

I’m glad that we did. There are multiple launches and they are so much fun. Sean later called this an “air time monster,” and he is not wrong. The sensation of lifting up out of your seat is smooth and frequent. I didn’t get the sense that the ride was throwing me around, though with my back, I tend to wedge myself in pretty well and religiously keep my head against the headrest. Maya apparently banged her head some on this one though.

By this point, we thought we’d sneak in an early lunch at Cafe L’air de la Sirene back in the Wizarding world. This is meant to be a French wizarding cafe, and I was personally delighted with the lovely baguette sandwich I had.

Funny aside: baguette in French literally means something more like a wand or a conductor’s baton. Sean noticed this earlier in the year when he picked up a copy of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone in French during our France trip (we have one from England and one from Italy too), and he saw that they do a lot of talking about their baguettes (because they all have wands).

In keeping with the wizarding theme, Sean had some kind of dirigible plum drink and later on, a butterbeer crepe. While we did have to wait what seemed like a long time for our food and drinks to come out, we were seated almost immediately, which was very nice for energy and foot conservation.

Next, we went right to the Cosme Acajor Baguettes Magique store, so that Sean and Ian could shop for interactive wands to use in the land. The shop was very wizardy, and I wish we could have explored the upstairs level, but it was roped off. Sean and Ian seemed to have fun choosing just the right baguette for the job, and before too long, we were out the door.

We lined up for the 12:25p showing of Le Cirque Arcanus, one of the two big shows in Epic Universe. We managed to sneak into the shelter of the Cirque tent right as it was starting to sprinkle, so it felt like a tiny win after our super-drenched first night in Orlando. There’s a nice queue for the show featuring pleasant music emanating from a very magical looking multi-functional musical instrument. Once the show was ready to begin, we were dumped into a standing-only area for the pre-show. This was difficult on a couple fronts – 1, our daughter is a whiner and we had to hear about it the whole time we were standing, and 2 – we went from a nice orderly line to a big glut of people and it was from this crowd that we’d be pressing into the entry to the show once it did finally start, a system which I roundly dislike (apparently I’m a big whiner too).

The idea is that Ringmaster Skender is trying to restore his circus of magical curiosities, and to aid in this mission, he’s stolen Newt Scamander’s suitcase full of rescued creatures. Skender has an employee, Gwendolyn Jenkins, who, as she discovers them and learns more about them, becomes more interested in helping the magical creatures than exploiting them. There are really neat scenes with a giant cat-like creature called a zouwu, who ultimately saves her from Skender’s clutches. At the end, she got a job offer from Newt. I thought the show was lots of fun, and I always welcome the chance to sit for a moment on our park days.

We wandered for a while letting Sean and Ian perform various spells with their wands. They made kettles steam, exposed sneaky nifflers, and reanimated some unoccupied pants. I wandered back to them at one point to discover Ian interacting directly with a witch in a portrait in one of the shops. Her name was Cassandra Trelawney a famed seer who happens to be the great, great grandmother of Sybill Trelawney, who was Harry, Ron, and Hermione’s divination teacher. Sir Cadogan’s portrait is next to hers in the display (or portrait which will later find its way to Hogwarts Castle, as we learn in the books), and Ian used his magic to turn Sir Cadogan’s little pony into a mighty steed.

After our magical fun, we headed over to Dark Universe for a more sinister turn into the world of monsters. We started our journey with drinks and snacks at the Burning Blade Tavern. The namesake burning blade comes from the windmill that the townsfolk set aflame to kill Frankenstein’s monster. The windmill in the park is supposed to periodically burst into flame as well, in homage. Alas, the blade was not burning or even turning during our two day visit.

At the tavern, Sean and I ordered the Crossbow to drink – a “secret” menu item that combines Strongbow hard cider with the Dark Universe’s signature Darkthorne Mead. I was worried it would be too sweet for my tastes, but it wasn’t. It was tart and weirdly refreshing and I enjoyed it very much. We paired these with some Burning Cheddar Bites, which are nuggets of jalapeño-laced pimento cheese coated in blackness to make them look truly charred. They were served with a sriracha mayo and the whole combination was excellent. We couldn’t even get Maya and Ian to try them. The kids had unique mocktails called Monocanes that were served in plastic Erlenmeyer flasks and featured a swirling sparkling component that was sure to make an appearance later.

Next we lined up for Monsters Unchained: the Frankenstein Experiment. We had been seeing mysterious electrical glowing and pulsing from the castle windows, and it was finally time to find out what was going on in there. The ride queue was full of glowing electrical cables and ominous scenery. If I hadn’t been so damned tired, I think it would have been truly fun to try to mentally release and allow myself feel nervous dread.

Even as tired as I was, I think I liked this one more than the rest of the family. It’s a KUKA-arm mounted dark ride, though it relies more on some really excellent animatronics, with the digital effects being enhancers rather than half the show. The idea is that Victoria Frankenstein, who has continued in her family’s experimenting tradition, believes she has worked out a way to control Count Dracula. We see her hubris on full display of course as Dracula almost immediately escapes. Igor, delightfully chaotic neutral, ushers us through her experiment. Poor Maya was almost immediately presented with a ghostly organ that shoots actual fire out of its pipes, but that was over pretty quickly and then we were on to normal monsters.

As mentioned, the animatronics are amazing. We see Frankenstein’s monster in several scenes, my favorite being the one in which he’s battling Wolf Man. The creature from the black lagoon makes an appearance, along with a mummy, and of course, several iterations of Dracula. The ride culminates in Dracula swooping down to attack us just before we make it out the door. Silly Victoria seeks control. Igor simply seeks good ride reviews.

When we were done, Ian, our resident horror lover, pronounced it “meh” and I think Maya had written it off the moment a beloved musical instrument betrayed her with actual fire. Sean didn’t say a whole lot but I think the general feeling was that it was “fine.”

As we were loitering in the Darkmoor Village, we happened to spot Igor puttering around in the path, and Ian went over to meet him. Igor was fussing with his big leather case, alternately throwing his gloves to the ground and putting them on his hands again, searching for something he may have dropped or misplaced.

He and Ian chatted a bit. When asked his name, Ian responded with, “ahhhh, Ian.” And from then on, Igor referred to him as “Ah, Ian.” The two of them chose to poison Sean by pelting him with random little red berries they found in the bushes. The poison could take as long as three years to work, so Ah Ian has been instructed to call back to the castle in three years and let Igor know whether or not Dad had properly died.

The kids hadn’t wanted to eat anything at the Burning Blade, so we took them to a stand in Celestial Park where they could get something they might like – Star Sui Bao. Ian had some pork soup dumplings and Maya had some pretty purple steamed buns, both of which they enjoyed. We unintentionally ordered some chicken and kimchi bao, which I think Sean and I mostly ate.

We wandered around and looked at beautiful Celestial Park for a little while before finally giving up and getting into the 105 minute standby line for the Curse of the Werewolf ride back in the Dark Universe. This is a coaster where the ride vehicle spins on its y-axis as the car traverses the track. There’s a point where the car doesn’t quite make it to the top of one ride element and you head backwards for a second go. All told, the ride was fun, but it felt too short.

Our plan had been to have dinner in the Dark Universe at a restaurant called Das Stakehaus. We wanted to a refill on our beers and Monocanes, and so we headed back to The Burning Blade to get that taken care of. We swooped back over to Das Stakehaus only to discover that the restaurant had closed at 7! We only missed it by a few minutes. For a park that stayed open till 10p, that seemed like an awfully early closing time. Boo.

We walked back out into Celestial Park and sat on a nice tiered area around the fountains to figure out a new plan. After conferring with the kids about what they might like to eat, we wound up over at Meteor Astropub for dinner. The food was fine and it was all pretty quick, in my memory, but since the rest of our dining that day had been really nice, especially for a theme park, this meal was decidedly middling.

We wandered back to the Wizarding World to see it at night and to play around with casting spells some more, now that the crowds had died down a little. We dropped in at Bar Moonshine, an American bar tucked into Paris. I had a Philosopher’s Old-Fashioned, which is (you guessed it) an old-fashioned, albeit a very nice one, well balanced and not too sweet. Sean had something called a Lobe Blaster, and if I hadn’t been enjoying my own cocktail so much, I’d have been envious. It combines moonshine, lemon juice, limoncello, and absinthe along with soda water and the result is light and herbal but definitely potent. There’s also a deep green float of “emulsion verte” on top that makes the drink look very pretty. A rosemary sprig enhances the cocktail’s herbal notes and makes it a pure pleasure to drink.

After a quick stop in the candy shop to get the kids some treats, we Woodses decided that we were all very tired and took the brief 10-minute walk back to our hotel. I have a note that says we were back in our room by 9, which is a very early evening for this family when on vacation!

Day Two – We, my Friends, have Dragons!

We got a good early start on this day and had ourselves well-positioned to enter Super Nintendo World once things opened up at Epic Universe that morning. While all the other worlds’ portals were really just extended entry-ways with fun lighting, Super Nintendo World had you going up stairs on your path, maybe as if you were exiting sewer tunnels? The path for exiting the world was even more elaborate.

The “rope drop” strategy for today was to head directly to Mine-Cart Madness, which is a Donkey Kong themed roller coaster. And since we kind of hustled straight over to that ride, we only tangentially noticed the deeply eye-popping world we had just entered. I will say though, banana motifs aside, walking up to the temple you entered through to get to the ride did feel majestic.

By my notes, we only spent about 15 minutes in this ride queue, which is amazing for a ride that regularly sports a 90-120+ minute wait time. The idea is that you’re riding along track that’s sometimes torn up and missing. This is referred to as a “boom coaster,” which means it travels around above the fake track on a kind of boom arm, allowing the real track to stay mostly hidden underneath. This allows the visible track to be sort of decorative, and the kids seemed to get a real kick out of how it all looked.

I don’t remember the queue being particularly memorable, but the theming in the ride itself was very fun and the nonstop soundtrack helped give you the sense that you were stuck in a video game. We were “launched” over sections of missing track, jostled over chewed up portions of track, and at one point even skimmed over some water to get to the track on the other side. A lot of people seem to really love this ride. For my part, I thought it was fine. The aesthetics were on point but the ride experience was medium fun for me.

Since the wait time was so short and we likely wouldn’t bother with this one if the wait time grew, we next went and rode Yoshi’s Adventure. This is more of a young kid ride so there weren’t any thrills to be had. But we did ride through the Mushroom Kingdom on variously colored yoshis and collected eggs.

After this, we bought Power Bands so that Maya and Sean could go around playing games. The day before, Maya decided that she’d rather have a power band than a wand, and Ian decided he’d rather have a wand than a power band (we had agreed to purchase one overpriced piece of interactive theme park tech per kid). We should have known there’d be trouble.

The day before, Maya didn’t seem to have any issue with watching Ian and Dad do magic, waiting it out till the next day. Ian, however, on day 2, upon seeing the glory that was Super Nintendo World, seemed really sad about not having waited. (Keeping in mind, he had tons of fun using his wand to do spells the day before.)

Sean didn’t care that much, so he lent Ian his power band so he could play a little. And then somehow Ian won a whole pile of points. And then Maya felt sad. This was her thing. Ian had the wand thing. We had some drama and some tears and some stern talking-to but eventually settled into semi-contentment. Sort of. For my part, I don’t normally participate in this kind of stuff – it’s just not my thing – but even I got roped into helping Maya with one of her tasks since a couple people were required to get it done.

After that, we walked to Berk. We made our way over to the How to Train your Dragon – Isle of Berk part of the park. This is the one Maya had been most excited about, and I’ll be honest, it may be my favorite world in Epic. You enter to a view of a lake with big viking statues and boats surrounding it. This area is absolutely gorgeous at night too. The world is also delightfully colorful. This isn’t the Viking grey of dragon-fearful Berk. This is dragon-friendly Berk with colorful dragons, dragon houses, totems, and other structures.

We started our time in Berk with an early lunch at Spit Fyre Grill. Sean had a hit list of food items he might like to try, and what he wanted at Spit Fyre Grill was one of the cones. He had one called the PB&J cone, which in this case means pork, bacon, and jam. Maya had a mac and cheese cone which she liked except that they had the audacity to sully her mac and cheese with goldfish crackers. Ian and I had Stoick’s steak bowls, which were also really good. There’s a nice covered area to sit out of the sun and watch the boats of the Fyre Drill ride float around.

We next planned to walk over to Hiccup’s Wing Gliders, but on our way, we noticed that Astrid was out talking to people. The kids went and chatted with her, wondering how she managed to keep Hiccup in line. She agreed that it was hard work and did a superb impression of Hiccup, shrugging shoulders and all.

Hiccup’s Wing Gliders promised an 85-minute wait time. Thankfully, most (not all) of that wait was out of the hot sun (and it looks like we ultimately waited more like 70 minutes for our ride). The notion is that Hiccup has made a contraption, as he is wont to do, so that would-be dragon-riders would have a way to safely test their skills before mounting an actual dragon. As you make your way through the queue, you see signs telling you about various dragons, some providing flight instruction, and some maps and such as well. As you get closer, you see some work-shop looking areas, complete with Toothless’s prosthetic tail fin.

The ride itself is a roller coaster. Toward the beginning, you’re presented with a large animatronic Toothless with his arm poised over a giant button, and it’s as much warning as anyone could hope for ahead of a launch. You sort of slalom along the across the water, leaving you with the impression that you are on a simulated dragon flight. At one point, you slow down going through an area where gronckles are nesting. Hiccup warns that this is not a good place to stop because their eggs explode when they hatch. You don’t quite make it up the hill following the nesting area and wind up sliding right back into the explosion threat. Luckily Hiccup and Toothless quickly launch you forward and you zip away from potential disaster. All in all, I thought this one was a lot of fun. Maya was delighted – I think this ride was her favorite.

We went to the 1:25p showing of The Untrainable Dragon. The notion is that a new dragon has been welcomed to Berk and is proving to be a little unruly. This huge dragon puppet looks amazing onstage. And the stage looks incredible as well, with digital projections augmenting physical people, puppets, and settings beautifully. Story-wise, after some fits and starts, we find out that her egg is in the hatchery. Once she’s reunited with it, order is restored.

On Universal’s website, in looking recently, I was presented with this fun fact, “Toothless soars above the audience, weighing in at 1,157 pounds, with a wingspan of nearly 27 feet.” Alas, we got no Toothless flyover – it must not have been functioning on the day we were there. I had been looking forward to seeing that, and it would have made an already visually arresting show even more amazing. Oh well.

Next we had a little refreshment. Mom and Dad tried one of the specialty beers of the land, Stoick’s Ale – a wildflower honey white ale. Then we walked, beers in hand, back to Celestial Park to get the kids some soup dumplings. And then we bit the bullet and got into line for Dragon Racer’s Rally. It was maybe a 45-minute wait to ride, and then we were each loaded into our winged training dragon.

This is a standard lift-you-up-and-spin-you-in-a-circle ride, but with an added feature. The rider controls the tilt of each of their dragon wing separately, and if you maneuver it the right way, you can barrel-roll your dragon. I had no intention of doing so. I hung out and enjoyed the breeze and the view and mostly left my wings alone, other than some experimental puttering, just to see what they’d do. If anyone else in my party attempted the barrel roll, they only had maybe 3 or 4 revolutions of the ride’s central spin to figure it out. It was over so, so quickly. For me, this probably isn’t one I’d bother with again.

It was pretty hot by this point in the afternoon, so we went and got icees and a coke and sat and cooled down a little bit. Then, we got into line to meet Toothless. The line was long but moved pretty quickly. There was a point where Hiccup and Astrid were both there, but by the time it was our turn, Snotlout was helping people interact with Toothless. Toothless was adorable, of course, and Maya seemed very happy to meet him, which was fun. The kids were both astonished at how rubbery he felt.

We headed back over to Super Nintendo World after this so that the kids could try to earn the rest of their keys so they could go fight Bowser Junior. I don’t know. I was mostly along for the ride. They earned what was required to enter Bowser’s castle. I don’t remember the challenge particulars, but it was neat to walk through.

The Epic Universe enthusiast might notice that we haven’t yet gone on one of the more popular riders – Mario Kart: Bowser’s Challenge. Since we rope-dropped Mine-cart Madness, we didn’t get to Bowser’s Challenge before the line grew. I don’t think there was any point during this day that the terrible wait time worked for us. And as our second day wore on, we chose to do things we enjoyed rather than wait in that infernal line.

Having made that choice, we now had time to go back to Das Stakehaus and have the dinner we were too late for yesterday. I’m so glad that we did. The ambiance was menacing and the food was delicious. It was all good, but my favorite were the Darkmoor Black Wings. They were chicken wings, but however they were prepared, they were dark and ominous and so, so delicious.

Maya didn’t want anything at Das Stakehaus but she desperately wanted another mac n cheese cone sans goldfish crackers. After the rest of us were done, we hustled over to Hooligan’s Grog and Grill to order that for Maya’s dinner. Ian puttered around in the play area while the rest of us waited for her food. And she enjoyed it very much.

Then, we did one more ride on Hiccup’s Wing Gliders (Maya’s favorite), which was cool after dark because you could see the about-to-explode gronckle eggs cracking and glowing. And then we waited in line to ride Stardust Racers again (Ian’s favorite). The day before, we rode on the yellow track of the two racing coasters. This time, we lined up for green. The lights on this ride make it absolutely gorgeous at night, and it was kind of fun to watch it while we waited.

We ended our evening back in the Wizarding World at Bar Moonshine for one final round of Butterbeers for the kids and Lobe Blasters for the ‘rents. Then we stood and watched a little bit of the evening fountain show. It was an evening well-spent, and I feel good about our choice to skip the very long wait at Bowser’s Challenge to do these things instead.

The kids didn’t want to wait for the shuttle bus back to the hotel, so they walked back with me while Sean took the bus back. We got there first, but not by much.

Epic Universe is an incredible park. The lands are amazing and brilliantly detailed. Super Nintendo World isn’t really my jam, but I can appreciate how very much you felt as though you had entered the video game world of the Mushroom Kingdom.

I don’t think I would have enjoyed it nearly as much if we had tried to squish it into a single day. Being able to enjoy the food and soak in the ambiance and play with the interactive wands and power bands and not feel rushed was very pleasant (and admittedly indulgent).

I was frustrated with the length of the lines. Not that it impacted us, but at one point, the Ministry of Magic ride was showing a FOUR HOUR wait time. One thing that aggravated us a little was that if you mobile order meals (which is the standard way of ordering quick service food), you can’t make any adjustments to your food. I was disappointed at the things that weren’t functioning. A fiery windmill and a giant swooping Toothless are part of the magic that we missed out on. There were several challenges in Super Nintendo land that were closed and so we couldn’t use power bands on them. Luckily, the rides were more or less all functioning. Mild disappointments aside though, I think we all really enjoyed that trip. The new park may have some kinks to work out, but it will look brilliant while doing so, and will leave you well entertained and well fed.

Animal Kingdom

We started our Disney day bright and early with a quick breakfast in our hotel room and a drive to our first park of the day: Animal Kingdom. Because we elected to stay at a Universal hotel, we did not have early entry to the park. The earliest we could enter was 8, and we managed to get ourselves into that line probably around 7:40a.

To help get more out of our park day, Sean sprung for Lightning Lane Multi Passes. This let us have up to three lightning lanes at a time. As we used each one, we could reschedule it for another ride. Our first Lightning Lane was meant to be the DINOSAUR ride, which Disney will be getting rid of early next year to make way for a new Tropical Americas land. Alas, this ride was not running at the start of the day and they wound up canceling our pass.

Here’s the rub. Sean had DINOSAUR scheduled at 8:05a. Once we used our first pass, we could then schedule at any other park for later times, but not until the first pass was used. Since they canceled that DINOSAUR lightning lane, we didn’t get to use our first pass until 10-something, and by then future lightning lanes were mostly taken. It was kind of a bum deal.

We wanted to ride Flight of Passage in Pandora, but its standby time had already swollen very quickly. Instead, we thought we’d hit a couple faster lines and try that one again later. Expedition Everest, a family favorite, had something like a 10 or 15 minute standby line, and I’d swear to you we got through it even more quickly than that. The ride was just as much fun as I remembered it. Since the queue was still short, and DINOSAUR was still closed, Sean and the kids rode Everest a second time. [Sean: We actually had a Everest lightning lane for 8:20a but we rode it twice using standby and it was only 8:15a. I should have either tried to tap in anyway or waited the 5 minutes and tapped in, thereby enabling me to book lightning lanes in other parks.]

We hopped in line for Kilimanjaro Safaris, which promised only a 30 minute wait. Again, I’m not even sure it took that long for us to get through the ride queue, and then we were trucking around Africa watching the wild beasts roam. We even got to hear one of the lions roaring, which was neat.

We went back to Expedition Everest again to finally spend our first lightning lane, so that Sean could attempt to book some rides in our afternoon parks. As mentioned earlier, most of the good stuff was gone, gone, gone by then, so ultimately our lightning lane purchase may not have been worth it. After riding Expedition Everest yet again (because hey, why not) and seeing that the Flight of Passage line was still terrible, we decided it was time for some refreshment.

We went to Pandora to the Pongu Pongu stand and ordered Night Blossoms for the whole family. We sipped on these while walking to Nomad Lounge for an early snack-based lunch. We were situated in comfy seats around a low table. The kids ordered mocktails while Sean and I ordered proper drinks. [Sean: I make a better Tempting Tigress than Nomad Lounge does.] Sean chose a handful of snacks from the menu thinking that surely the kids would find something they liked. Alas, he and I ate very well and the kids half heartedly nibbled at a few things.

Our server at Nomad Lounge asked us where we were headed next. We explained that we were going to hit DINOSAUR. He seemed heartened by this and quipped that we should go ride DINOSAUR before it goes extinct. Maya in particular thought this was very funny.

We essentially chose DINOSAUR over Flight of Passage as our last hurrah at Animal Kingdom because first, it would give us more time at the other parks we intended to hit and second, it would be our last chance to ride it, ever. And so, after bringing an iguanodon back from the cretaceous period, we made the long walk back to our car to drive over to the TTC at Magic Kingdom. Sean had loosely planned to spend 8-11a at Animal Kingdom. We drove off the lot a little after 12.

Magic Kingdom

Magic Kingdom was the only park we went to where Sean managed to hit all the attractions on his wish list. But, we only managed to do so by giving up on a much-desired stopover at Polynesian Village Resort to have cocktails at Trader Sam’s. Our notion for this multi-park day was to take civilized breaks in between the hustling, and this was one we had down as a post-Magic Kingdom cool down.

We headed into Magic Kingdom and straight for our lightning lane at Space Mountain. Ian in particular loves this ride, and Sean didn’t have too many lightning lane options, so he spent it on this.

After that initial quick-hit, we got in the standby line for the always popular Tron Lightcycle / Run. This was a new one for us. Tron had a 65 minute wait time, and I think that wound up being pretty spot-on. It would have been fine, but it was more or less in full sun and we were cooking by the time we finally got to enter the building. The ride vehicle is mounted like a motorcycle. As you pull the handlebars toward you, a restraint comes to rest against your back. It feels very secure.

The launch was epic, the scenery immersive, and the track layout was lots of fun. But, the ride felt short. I think we all loved what we got to experience, but as the train rolled into the station, Maya spoke for all of us when she said, “That’s it?”

We stopped next at the Cheshire Cafe to pick up Cheshire Cat Tails for the kids. Then we went to sit for a bit at the Country Bear Musical Jamboree. This is one of Sean’s childhood favorites anyway, but he particularly wanted to see it this time because they’ve refreshed the show a bit. The bears are wearing fancy new costumes and the songs are different. I’ll leave it to him to say how he felt about it. For my part, I was content to sit down for a bit before the next line. [Sean: It was nice seeing the Bears and I enjoyed hearing their renditions of modern Disney staples, but the new show doesn’t hit the same nostalgia button that the older show hit. Melvin, Buff, and Max were on point though.]

After the Country Bears sang us out the door, we made our way over to Tiana’s Bayou Adventure, a re-theming of Splash Mountain. Again, the standby queue was posted as having a 65 minute wait, and again this proved accurate. A decent amount of this ride queue is shaded at least, so it could have been worse.

Tiana’s Bayou Adventure is a log flume ride. Ian, for reasons I don’t understand given his enjoyment of thrill rides, had himself all worked up about the big drop at the end of this one. He rode next to me and insisted that I put an arm over him while we went down the last hill. In the end, none of us got all that wet, the new theming was fun to watch, and Ian didn’t fly out of the log, so I guess it all worked out ok.

We took a quick break to buy the kids popcorn and ice cream and to buy the grown ups egg rolls that had fillings of cheeseburger and pizza. And with that, we boarded the Monorail over to EPCOT. (Note, we had planned to leave this park by 4, but we wound up leaving a little after 5 instead.)

EPCOT

The wish list for this park was going to be fine, if we could score just one decent lightning lane. One of the things Sean wanted to see was the new version of the test track attraction – Test Track 3.0. I believe this is the one he was hoping to get a lightning lane for. Thanks to the cancelation issues early in the day, this wound up not being possible. [Sean: I could have gotten a lightning lane for Test Track and for Tiana’s had I been able to book them at 8:05a. Alas.]

As no lightning lanes were available for the big rides we wanted to try to hit, Sean scored one for Journey Into Imagination With Figment. This is a dark ride that encourages you to use your five senses. Figment the mischievous purple dragon confounds matters. This is another one that hits lots of nostalgia buttons for Sean. Maya just loves Figment’s chaos. We managed to juuuuust make it into the tail end of our lightning lane slot, only to find that the ride was down. There wasn’t much else we could work in before our dinner reservation, so we ultimately just waited till it started running again. In my memory, this took maybe 15-20 minutes.

We walked out to discover that it was raining. When it seemed like it had let up a little, we walked over to our dinner reservation a little early. We had a 6:40 reservation at Space 220 Restaurant. After a slow and awkward seating process, we rode the special space elevator up to the space station that housed our restaurant. As the elevator ostensibly went up, the landmass visible on the screens below us grew further and further away, eventually revealing Florida’s peninsular shape. Once in the restaurant, giant windows gave us views of space with a cast of astronauts, satellites, and space dogs to add interest.

Sean warned me that a typical dinner here could take 90 minutes, so we’d have to hustle afterward to do things. Service was so terribly slow that I think we wound up being there closer to two solid hours. And it wouldn’t have been so bad except the food was really not quite up to the price point. I had a carpaccio that I genuinely liked, and a short rib and grits dish that was fine. All in all though, I felt a little mishandled by that dinner. [Sean: Agreed. I had heard such good things but walked away disappointed. The food was very under seasoned and the service was painfully slow.]

We thought we might get to walk through the Journey of Water, Inspired by Moana trail, which is supposed to be truly lovely at night. Alas, we were so late leaving the restaurant, we only had time to go get in the standby line for our one big-deal attraction at that park: Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind. The park closed at 9 and the deal is, if you’re in line by park close, they’ll let you remain in line to ride the ride. I think it was around 8:45 when we finally made our way into that line. We’d have missed our chance if we walked the Moana trail.

The standby line for Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind said it was 135 minutes, but we absolutely were not going to miss this one, so despite borderline mutiny from our tired children, we waited it out. Early on in the planning phase of this trip, Sean had been trying to decide if we’d see the night show at EPCOT (Luminous) or try to make it over to Hollywood Studios to see the night show there (Fantasmic). As it was, we saw a little of the upper portion of the Luminous fireworks as we stood in the Guardians line.

Ultimately we were through the line in only about 90 minutes and once we were in the building, the queue is honestly pretty spectacular. There were lots of things to learn about the planet Xandar, a faraway planet not so different from Earth. And then, at long last, we got to the ride itself.

There are a couple novel things about this coaster. First, you’re facing backward when it launches. Second, the ride cars rotate as you proceed through the ride. We have ridden coasters in the past that have spun freely on their Y-axis as the car traveled over the tracks. This ride is different in that the Y-axis turns are controlled. You see exactly what the ride creators want you to see and you feel forces the way they intended for you to feel them. It is an incredibly smooth journey. Also, I gripe a lot about how damn dark these indoor coasters often are. This is not that. The scenery was vivid, immersive, and hilarious. I think all four Woodses were happy to have done this one. The kids both proclaimed that it had been worth the wait. [Sean: We got Disco Inferno for our song which made me happy. This has to be tied with Flight of Passage for my favorite thrill ride at WDW.]

There was nothing to do afterward but take the monorail back to the TTC so we could go find our parked car and head back to the hotel. I think it was generally a good day, but for sure things didn’t work out as we had planned and there are things we’d do differently. For one, I think we’d stay on property at Disney, if only for one night, just to enjoy the early booking and early park entry benefits that confers. We chose not to do so this time since we were spending most of our time over at Epic Universe and didn’t want to have to deal with baggage transfer and hotel check out, check in hassle. That was probably an error.

I think I’ve written about this before as well. Sean struggles to balance his own planning with the sometimes erratic desires of the kids. He wants them to be happy and enjoy their park day, but in meeting their demands, he often winds up giving up on what he wants. I don’t know that that alone caused us to miss some of the items on his wish list, but definitely it impacted our timeline. Still though, I think it was a day well spent. For my part, the only thing I’d change would be to ditch Space 220 and do a quick service dinner in its place. And even that is only obvious in hindsight.

In September we were forced to go full-bore on school and extracurricular activities. Ian decided not to do Cub Scouts this year, but he has joined the after school musical performance group at his school. Maya did this as well in fourth and fifth grade, and the shows were really fun, so I’m excited to see how Ian does.

Right away early in the month, my oxblood lilies popped up. They’re supposed to naturalize and spread over time, and for four of five clumps, I genuinely believe that was happening this year. But for clump number five, some committed critter dug that damned bulb up every single night, washed it off in the water dish I leave out, and then left it sit. I’m guessing raccoon, but I’m not sure what the motive was. Anyhow, that clump is probably done for.

Maya and I went and watched a solo performance by her former music teacher Hannah. It was a glorious hour of music and Maya seemed to be enthralled.

At her clarinet teachers’ suggestion, Maya has joined a youth orchestra, playing oboe. Once a week for 90 minutes, we drive to McCallum High School and practice with the Austin Soundwaves youth orchestra. The participants range in age from 11 to 22 and are guided by some really excellent conductors and musicians. She prefers the more challenging nature of the pieces they are practicing than the things she’s learning in her school’s symphonic band, so going there, while a little daunting, has been fun for her.

On the 16th, we headed down to the Toney Burger Stadium to watch the high school marching band jamboree. Maya wanted to go because she could get extra credit in band (which she does not need). All of us enjoy watching the performances.

On the 20th, we watched Ian perform at the farmers market in the morning. Then we got Maya to a birthday party in the afternoon. And then we scooped everyone up for a trip to New Braunfels to the Brauntex Theatre to watch a Ben Folds concert. Beforehand, we had dinner at Muck and Fuss. Their burgers were really good and they had a neat selection of beers on tap. My only complaint is that the beer came out kinda luke-cold, and on a hot September evening in Texas, serving beer nice and cold is a must.

The show was great. Lindsey Kraft opened, and I think Maya was thrilled to see a woman onstage being saucy and playing the piano. Ben Folds killed it, as always. The kids know many of his songs, so they seemed to have a lot of fun at the show. I think the audience participation caught them off guard. At least one well-meaning (or judgy, who knows) grownup wondered if our kids were going to be all right at the show. Yes. Yes they were. A little cussing and grown-up humor is dangerous and subversive and good for the soul.

The kids had a long weekend that weekend, so we finally let Ian color his hair. He’s been wanting green hair for months now, and we kept putting it off (mostly because we weren’t too sure how to go about it, not because we were against green hair). The place we get our hair cut only had coloring appointments during the day and they took a couple hours, so I took the afternoon off and took Ian to get his hair greened up.

A nice man named Jake colored his hair and was very patient with Ian (and me) as we asked questions, took photos, and worked through the process. At the end, it looked amazing, multi-hued and streaked in such a way that it almost looked natural – or at least as natural as green hair can look. The only bummer is that now roughly three-four weeks later, it’s already mostly gone. We tried our best to make it last, but I guess those sorts of colors fade quickly.

I was rushing out the door one afternoon to fetch Maya from an after school thing and nearly stepped on a lovely snake that had spread itself out on the sidewalk in front of our porch. I am nearly certain he is a Texas Patch-nosed snake. I tried to turn around and get Ian, our resident snake lover, to come look, but that movement was enough to send the snake on its way into the flower bed.

The very last weekend of the month, while Maya was at another birthday party, Ian and I attempted to make Dubai Chocolate. I bought some deep chocolate bar moulds, Sean found the specialty ingredients we’d need, and we followed this recipe. All told, it seemed to turn out reasonably well, though none of us liked it as much as Ian did …. which worked out great because then he could enjoy the bars that he made over several days.

Seventh grade has been harder for Maya to manage than sixth grade was. The expectations have ratcheted up, and the cracks in her “I’ll just remember everything and write nothing down ever” approach are showing. We’ve tried to help her manage her workload, but seeing as we aren’t in class with her to know what she has due when, that’s been a tough task to assist with. This is how we came to issue what may well be the nerdiest warning ever: If you can’t keep your grades up, you won’t be able to participate in youth orchestra.